


Hope's Touch - Soulmates? - Komahina AU

by MiyuYuma



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: A different format though, Alternate Universe - Different Mastermind (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Dramatic spacing, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Komahina, Inspired by Fanfiction, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), It looks a little bit better on Wattpad, M/M, Much spacing, My First Fanfic, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Tumblr: danganronpaimagines, Work Contains Fan(s) or Fandom(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuYuma/pseuds/MiyuYuma
Summary: "Nagito was it, right? I'm sorry for all this. Sucks that we have to get to know each other in these circumstances."Nagito felt the warm buzzing in his ears as the cold looking boy, with an Ahoge high enough to reach the gods, spoke to him."It's okay. I guess we couldn't have prevented this anyway."And as the boy kept talking to cover up the awkwardness,somehow he knewand he didn't know why he felt like thatbut he knewthat he was the one.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Naegi Makoto, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi
Comments: 67
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WanTanQ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanTanQ/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Soulmate Bonded: Jungkook xReader (feat. Namjoon)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/614836) by minxy_keys. 



> I first published this on Wattpad, after my sister inspired me to write a fanfiction about our two favourite characters and our most favourable ship - Komahina. I dedicate this work to her and everyone who enjoys their connection as much as I do :) Also, despite this being a soulmate AU, this story will contain major story plots so be prepared.
> 
> This story is furthermore inspired by the author "minxy_keys" on Wattpad, with their story "Soulmate Bonded: Jungkook xReader (feat. Namjoon)" I highly recommend you check her fanfic out if you are also a fan of BTS related stories!
> 
> That being said, the formatting on this story is a little different from what you may be usually used to, but it is intentional and I hope you can still enjoy the experience!
> 
> I wish you all the best and please enjoy :)

Looking back it was so obvious. Hah.   
  
  
  
  
  


I really was stupid to think everything was cool.   
  
  
  
  
  


I will start to walk to you, I promise.  
I will do my very best.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


My cute dork.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


My love, Nagito.


	2. Hope Is Stronger Than Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: warm hugs to you <3

"Dear passengers, we have just landed on Jabberwock Island. Please remain seated until the lights go off."

I peeked outside the window. It was quite sunny outside. 

Slowly I unbuckled my belt and got up as soon as the lights went off.

I made my way to the exit, taking tiny steps ahead as the other students were crowding in the way, making sure not to come in any physical contact with any of them.

The whole flight nobody talked to each other, the tension was strong since of course, nobody knew the other. 

I mean, who would normally be in a situation like this anyway? 

This is only possible because of Hope's Peak Academy. 

The infamous academy which was home to many talented and fruitful young people. 

And I was now one of them. 

Thinking about it made my chest tight with excitement again.

As soon I stepped outside, I was greeted by the sudden warm air surrounding me. 

I was blinking heavily from the sunlight as I walked the stairs down the plane.

How excited I was to know what was to come now.

Even more intriguing were the other students, each of them looking astonishingly different from each other.

And not only just by their looks, every one of them seemed to be their very own persona.

As we made our way through the airport, down the long road outside headed towards the beach, I felt my shirt sticking to my back.

I was sweating tremendously.

How nice it would be to go for a swim now.

Hah, there would definitely be enough time for that later on, after we met the teachers and got the get-to-know ceremonials behind us.

After what seemed like an hour of walking in the burning sun, all while carrying our luggage with us, we finally arrived at the beach that was marked by a sign

"Welcome Class 78!"

Finally. My feet were really killing me, and if it wasn't for the backpack I carried with me, my sweat stains covering my whole back would have been visible for the whole world to see. 

I wiped away more sweat dripping from my forehead, and followed along the others after leaving my luggage where everyone left theirs. 

Further along I could make out two people waiting for us. Though I wasn't able to really see their faces, as the sun was hitting me right in the face.

I saw the sceptical stares of the other students as they came to a stop a few meters away from the mentioned two. 

Once I was close enough, I steadied my breath and collected myself before looking up at them. 

Needless to say I was holding the same sceptical stare by now.

Those two "people" I thought I made out in the distance just a moment before, turned out to be bears. 

And super strange looking bears at that. 

"Oh my, welcome dear students! You all look so exhausted, the flight must have been rather long huh?" 

The half white half pink colored bear began to speak. 

The other students now were talking in confusion "what the hell?" "how can this bear talk..?" "it must be some sort of robot." 

All of them rumbled, then the other bear started speaking

and this one didn't talk all sweet like the cute looking one. 

"Hey! Stop this discussion will ya?? We are professionally made AIs, and yes if you guys were wondering, we are your teachers from now on."

"thats right! You can call me Usami, this one by my side, you can call Monokuma!"

... 

... 

... 

After a long long talk about our apparently new "teachers", our stay at this island, that we were flown out here to enjoy a class trip to ensure a well functioning class, we were finally brought to our cottages. 

Since the talking took up almost the whole evening, there wasn't time for any introductions, so Monokuma and Usami said to meet up tomorrow to properly get to know each other, after having a good night's rest. 

I honestly was done for the day. 

Not in a negative way, the exhaustion simply was too overwhelming, I was still very excited and also a little nervous about this new chapter in my life. 

But as I was finally laying down in my bed

All the thoughts vanished

And I almost instantly 

Fell into a deep sleep.

To be continued.


	3. Good Morning Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The first few chapters are a bit slow paced and introductory, but Komahina will happen soon! Thank you to everyone who reads this story c:

___________________

"Ahem. Hope's peak school executive committee has an announcement to make

Good morning everyone!!"

I was woken up by the heavy sound of a morning announcement. I was a bit irritated, but as soon as I really started to wake up and remember my situation, that I was on a beautiful tropical island for a class trip, I grew happy inside and stretched myself out like a comfy cat.

Still a little sleepy, I went to the bathroom for a quick shower and made my way to the dining hall, where we were supposed to meet for breakfast all together.

Once arrived, I saw all the others already assembled around the tables, eating and talking. 

The food smelled and looked delishious, and the atmosphere was bright and calming. 

This whole setting, the calm sound of ocean waves crashing against the sand, heard in the distance

The soft yet gradually intensifying rays of golden warmth, shining in through the opened windows of the dining hall

The other students, most of them still looking sleepy, yet all of them carrying this bright glow on their face, probably because of the magic of this resort, taking all of our exhaustion and stresses away

The smell of freshly cooked omelett, the alluring sound of crispy bacon on the pan, fruity juices mixed out of the most sweet and tropical fruits there are

All of this made everything just feel so beautiful.

So full of love

And hope.

After spending some time sitting at a table with Peko, the quiet mysterious one,   
Fuyuhiko, the tough acting yet somehow still caring one,  
Sonia, the royal and rather sweet one  
and Nekomaru, the loud and strong spirited one,

I went back to my cottage. 

I really wanted to get a swim on, and since each of us now had time on their own, and was off to explore the islands and sights by themselves or together, 

I took my chance, brought my swimming shorts with me, and proceeded to go to the beach. 

Once I was there, I inspected the area to make sure no one else was here. 

I mean, if I was the only one at the beach, I wouldn't need to go to the beach house to change. 

So I did exactly that, I changed into my swim gear and just as I was finished, I did notice somebody else with me. 

That person was floating on top of the water, a little further out into the ocean where the waves had calmed a little. 

My heart rate went up a little, knowing I almost embarrassed and stripped myself naked in front of a classmate.

Holding my hand over my eyes protectively, I tried to recognize the person in the water.

Thats when I saw

It was Nagito Komaeda.

I only really noticed him during the short introduction round the day before, he seemed like your ordinary guy. 

I remember his talent that brought him to this school, was it being the ultimate lucky student? 

We haven't talked before, and judging from how he was just floating there on his back, probably enjoying the cooling waves, I assumed he most likely didn't want anyone to disturb him. 

In any way, that shouldn't concern me now. I'm here to swim anyways!

Excitedly, I started running, as proper as my feet were able to take my body running through this warm sand, and quickly took big enough steps to jump into the water. 

Man was this refreshing!

I pulled my body completely into the water, rushing my head out afterwards to catch air. 

I swam again, now deeper into the water. 

Since it was so clear I was able to see the beautiful structures of the ocean below me. 

The corals and sea grass, a few little fish and once again, the beautiful, yet still early sunrays casting light beams into the ocean. 

Everything was so wonderful.

As I was having my fun, I noticed the waves storming on a little rougher than when I first arrived here. 

I then wondered if that Komaeda boy was still swimming around somewhere here too. 

Diving back up, I started to look around, and there he was. 

I saw him, now even further away from the shore, still laying on top of the water. 

I kind of wondered if he was okay, since it's been a little while and the waves were getting stronger and stronger by the minute. 

I thought about maybe telling him to not swim so far out, but as I was forming my thoughts

I saw said boy lifting his head and having his body back up in a normal swimming position. 

He seemed to have seen something in the water, as he was looking at one spot in front of him very cautiously.

But the waves were already so violent, and the water was even more aggressive were he was. 

I got worried, as he didn't seem to care about how dangerous his situation was. 

And as I was figuring out what he was doing,

He proceeded to dive down. 

Instantly alarm bells were ringing in my ear, as I then saw the waves lifting themselves up threatening over were he was, shortly after. 

Shit, even a good swimmer would have trouble bringing themselves back to shore with waves that strong pulling them further out. 

Without thinking, I started to quickly swim to Komaeda's position. 

He still hasn't come up yet, just what the hell was he thinking? 

I was halfway there, when I lifted my head up to look for him, and yet again there he was. 

He was just lifting his head out of the water to breathe again, when a big wave hit him and pulled him back into the water. 

I used every power I had to swim even faster to him. 

My body started to get tired, and swimming against these waves was exhausting, but I just couldn't stop when someone was about to drown in front of me. 

I finally reached him, he was underwater, struggling to come up. 

Under the midst of the wild ocean waves, I took one giant breath of air and dived down. 

He also made its way up, and we met just above the violent surface, 

As our bodies crashed against each other, hurdled by water pushing and pulling us. 

This moment felt like forever. Just him and me, intertwined with the rhythm of the ocean. 

Somehow my body felt strange. 

And for a millisecond I felt something buzz up in my whole body. 

But there wasn't any time. 

I grabbed his body and put my whole focus on swimming back up. 

But my body lost more energy, and my hands and legs started to stiffen up. 

It was getting harder and harder to stay conscious, as I was struggling with catching air, all while trying to save that boy beside me, who already lost his consciousness. 

And as I struggled and tried my best

and as I fought and fought against the odds

Slowly everything turned black. 

_______________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: if you've read this far, I want to thank you for reading my story!
> 
> here is a sweet potato for you, they're healthy c:
> 
> 🍠
> 
> if you have any suggestions or wishes, let me know! This story is just getting started and there will be different POV's, so let's get it.


	4. Everytime We Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fortune really does smile upon him.

"Makoto, don't you know that she's no good for you? I can't believe this is happening. That freaking wrench

GODDAMNIT..

Just when I thought everything was about to become beautiful,

our marriage..."

-Huh?

I was awoken by a Monokuma nurse, dressed in a tightly-fitted nurse apron, with the fabric of his (or her?) fur sticking out, already making me feel uncomfortable despite waking up just now.

What happened? My head was aching and I felt lightheaded and dizzy. As I tried to lift myself up, my whole head started spinning in circles. I instantly fell back onto the bed.

"Oh my! You've got to rest now Hajime! You can't just try to jump up like that after almost having drowned."

Ah. That's right. The memories of the recent events came back slowly.

My head still groggy, I tried to remember why I was in the ocean anyways, when..

"AH! Komaeda-kun!!" I shouted out suddenly, scaring the Monokuma nurse who was just about to apply a wet towel over my forehead. 

"Where is he? Is he okay? I saw him swimming, tried to save him, I-"

"Now calm down Hajime Hinata! Komaeda was feeling better this afternoon and left earlier to go back to his cottage."

"I see."

I finally calmed down a little. I mean, I wasn't hallucinating back there, he really was about to drown to his death. So hearing that he apparently was well, made me feel easier.

I tried to visualise the moments under water just before I passed out, but it was hard with all the exhaustion my body was dealing with, it was making my head feel heavy again.

Thinking of, what was that weird feeling? When the wave pulled us both down? The water was forcibly cold and concentrating on trying to keep my composure was hard in itself, but it was even harder, trying to pull and drag Komaeda's body up to the surface with me. 

But why was it like that then? Amidst all that chaos and I mean, all that only took about a few minutes at most, somehow there is something very very clear in my memory. When I got a hold of the younger's arm, I felt this strong, buzzing sensation sizzling through my body.

It didn't hurt, actually, it felt kinda good. 

It was as if in that split second of first contact, my body had regenerated and gotten some warmth back. As if a golden ray of warmth and softness was just pouring into my body from the skin that was touching his.

It's unlike anything I've ever felt before. Like literally.

If I were to list and go through every sensation my body has ever experienced, there would be nothing quite like that feeling. Nope.

Could it be... the bonding?

Nah Hajime, you're just overthinking it, like you always do. The probability of a bonding was so little, very few people reported to have met their soulmate.

The bonding, hah. It was the way this world just worked. Everybody born in this world has a soulmate. That person can be anyone across the whole globe. You could practically never meet them and just live on like that.

But some soulmates do meet. 

They meet and become bonded for life. I mean, it does make for the perfect love story, meeting the person destined for you, to be bound to be close together for life. Once you touched them was when you knew, because it would brand you both.

Soulmates become dependent from one another. Once you touch, you have to touch and „heal" regularly to keep yourself alive. It's like charging a battery. Otherwise, if you where apart from them for too long without resting on their skin, you would lose more and more energy until, not more than a few days later, you would inevitably die.

We were taught about the bonding in elementary school, it was a precaution the government had ordered, it was the norm around the world.

There are many that touch their soulmate without noticing, like during a concert or in the midst of large gatherings. Those search like maniacs for their wanted soulmate in fear of dying. Some make it, some don't.

But

it was as I learnt it, the likelihood of you meeting, even being in the same city as your soulmate, was close to zero.

But there was always an alternative. There are people who never want the bond, those simply wear gloves. And just avoid accidental touching with strangers in general. Nothing bad happens if you don't meet your soulmate, and although it sounds just like a fairytale right out of disney, some people like the idea of a simple life.

Living without having to rely on someone else with their whole life.

I looked outside the window.

Never ever was Komaeda-kun my soulmate. I chuckled at the thought, almost choking on my own spit while the before mentioned "nurse" was giving me a weird look.

Me? The unluckiest, most unspecial person on the planet would never even be on the same continent as my soulmate. Hah hah. I laughed to myself.

I decided to let it be for now and just try to get back on my feet as soon as possible.

An hour or so later, after the Monokuma nurse checked my blood pressure and body temperature and made me take some medicine, I was let out of the infirmary.

By now it was around 4PM and as I was starting to get hungry, I sluggishly made my way to the cafeteria.

Nobody was there when I arrived. I was checking out the snacks and decided on a bag of chips.

I still felt very exhausted and somehow overtly tired.

I sat down at a table, with perfect view of the ocean, and started munching.

I'll go to rest at my cottage later on, my head started to fog up again.

Not good, I probably used up too much of my energy today.

It'll get better after a good nap.

I couldn't rest my mind though.

I had to go see that Komaeda boy, check out with my own eyes wether he was alright.

I honestly don't know why I'm so concerned with him, but it was somewhat of a gut feeling, or a stab of intuition, that I should meet him some time.

I mean

he was my classmate after all. So I had to get along with him either way later on, right?

I was certainly gonna talk to him more so, why the worry?

I will just meet him after dinner. My inner Hajime is telling me to go now, but my body started to feel worse the longer I was sitting there.

Yea, the cottage.

I finished the bag and made my way, though extremely slowly, back to the bed that was calling me already.

As I finally laid my head to rest, it felt like the whole world came crashing down on me.

I felt really ill. Maybe I shouldn't have gone out swimming for so long, only one day after traveling and flying for so long. The jetlag was still getting to me.

I wanted to drink a sip of water, but my eyes closed before I could realise.

Ugh-

What is wrong with me? I tried my best to run, or rather stumble in my state right now, as fast as I could to the toilet. 

I was relieving myself of all the food I ate today.

Exhausted, I held my forehead and stomach with my hands while stumbling back to my bed.

Man. My eyes were teary and irritated.

What time was it? It was already starting to get dark outside.

9:30PM. I almost slept for six hours straight.

I sighed in exhaustion.

I probably caught some annoying infection. Nice. Very nice.

I decided to sleep the sickness away, neither having the appetite nor the strength to go eat something now. I would just tell the others tomorrow I wasn't feeling good.

Only now as I laid down did I notice a very sharp and throbbing pain in my left arm.

It came straight from the palm of my hand and made it's way up into my underarm.

This was the kind of pain that made your whole body feel numb, as if you had a fever and muscle soreness at the same time. Only did this hurt that much more.

Sleep. Sleeping will make the soreness go away and tomorrow I'll be okay again.

Despite the uncomfortable pain and excruciating throbbing in my arm, I felt worn out enough to almost instantly fall asleep again.

Little did I know, that I wasn't okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following this story! <3
> 
> I had a hard time with writing but I'm getting back at it again, and I will double update today so I hope you will get to enjoy the anticipated encounter of the two love birds :3
> 
> Please do me a big favour and S M I L E :)) You are so wonderful!
> 
> Look at you!
> 
> Just look at you!!
> 
> I love you!!!
> 
> I may just be a stranger to you, but if this story makes even one person smile or feel better than before, I can be at peace.
> 
> All the love<3


	5. Just A Little Bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Nagito's POV. Please enjoy and have a cup of hope and love today <3

"hey Komaeda."

"Huh?"

I was startled by Fuyuhiko, the baby-ish looking boy who was looking at me.

"Your dinner got cold, why aren't you eating?"

I looked down at my dinner plate, the peppered beef steak topped with homemade dijon mustard and pefectly steamed cruciferous vegetables looked delicious. Gently placing my finger on the steak, I notice it really did cool down. I was spacing out, I kept spacing out ever since I left the infirmary.

"Are you really okay already? I mean, when I met you outside of the infirmary, you were just let out of there but you still looked so pale. You look like you generally have this really pale, almost white, kinda skin tone but still, you honestly don't look too good. I mean, you almost fucking drowned man!"

Bringing myself to move my, for some reason, sore face muscles, I flash Fuyuhiko the best smile I could possibly give someone right now and reassure him that I was doing just fine.

He in turn only made an annoyed 'hmpf' sound and continued eating his food.

The others were eagerly feasting on the wonderfully cooked dishes made by Teruteru-kun, chit-chatting and having fun getting to know each other better.

My attention went back to the food in front of me. Like I already determined, the food looked delicious, but the smell repulsed me for some reason.

Just when I thought about taking a bite from this juicy looking piece of meat, my stomach curled in on itself.

I am fine. I'm okay. 

Nagito, you were accepted into this school, this consitution you hoped to enter so bad, and now you're here, surrounded by all these talents... get yourself together for hope's sake!

Your Frontotemporal Dementia is nothing compared to what you might experience if you were to chicken out of this hopeful environment because of some other sickness you caught.

Again smiling at Fuyuhiko, who was sitting in front of me at the dinner table, 

who was surrounded by others such as Akane, Nekomaru and Gundham,

who was now looking weirded out by me staring at him for more than, I guess, almost five minutes now being in my headspace, I finally got up and made my way down the stairs and out of the eating area.

Before leaving I manage to hear aforementioned boy from behind saying: "Man, this Komaeda dude is fucked up, someone's ought to watch him".

To be honest, I think Fuyuhiko and I will become great friends, I somehow feel it in my gut.

I hope, smiling at the thought.

After taking a short walk, I notice my body starten to stiffen and cramp up a little bit.

Sighing, I took a seat on a stone near the beach I swam in earlier today.

Earlier, when I almost drowned to death.

Emphasis on almost, my luck saved me again.

Or should I say... Hajime-kun?

I didn't even notice him swimming at the beach this morning, I was so mesmerized by the endless blues unfolding and crashing down before me, I never would've realised I swam too far out.

And me, being as pale and melanin-less as I was,

my body couldn't take or endure being put under the sun for too long.

How long was I floating there, on top of the soft waves? Maybe an hour? maybe two?

It wasn't until I lost my bracelet, the one my parents gave me as a present to my 14th birthday, that I started moving again.

At that point were the waves way stronger than when I first stepped into the water and I was so far from shore.

I saw it, I knew how bad it was

but I didn't care

I just wanted my bracelet back.

It was floating underwater, just out of reach and as I desperately tried to retrieve it, my body, drained and dehydrated from the sun, started giving up on me, and I soon started a battle against the waves above me, 

fighting for my bracelet

and for air.

I was able to get it, at the last second before it slipped from my reach completely.

I held on it so, so tight

but that was the point I couldn't get up to surface anymore.

Thinking back, it was so scary. That's what people must feel just when they're about to drown, not being able to grasp for air anymore, not being able to see because of all the salt water irritating your eyes so aggressively, not being able to move your limbs the way you want to.

I was so close to drifting away.

Then, maybe a few minutes away from death, I felt someone grab my arm.

It was a tight grip. At that point I already almost lost my consciousness as a whole, but the last thing I remember is my body being pressed against Hinata-kun's, the cold water numbing my hands,

me letting go of the bracelet at last and passing out.

Time didn't seem to exist in the grey zone that came after my blackout until I,

like a dead body lying in a casket,

awoke in a sickbed in the infirmary whilst being treated by a provocatively dressed Monokuma, wearing a revealing white nurse dress.

I sigh again, this time massaging my temples and forehead. It was hard to remember as my head started to hurt.

I really don't feel so good after all,

maybe I should have stayed a bit longer in bed.

I tried to take in the nightly view in front of me, but my mind wouldn't focus

instead I started to notice one part of my body hurting and aching a bit more than the rest.

Actually, it wasn't just a little bit more.

It hurt an awful lot more.

It was my right arm.

My upper arm was throbbing and aching like crazy, like I did the most push-ups I could ever do and now my arms were sore.

But it was just one arm, my right upper arm to be precise.

I tried massaging the muscles that hurt, but I just hurt myself more.

Deciding to just let it be for now, I look up at the sky, trying to distract myself.

It was already quite late, and the stars were out.

I keep wanting to think about that moment with Hajime-kun.

Every time I reconstructed the scene underwater, my body and mind started to feel weird.

It was a feeling of warmth,

almost a slight buzzing sensation.

Man, I never even talked to the guy, yet here I am staring into space while playing the moment our bodies collided, again and again.

I couldn't quite describe it, but I didn't have the mental capacity to do so anymore anyway.

I never even talked with him, I realise, I have to go meet him tomorrow and properly thank him for saving me.

Wait, was he even able to save me?

When I remember correctly, this morning when I woke up the Monokuma nurse let me know that he was unconscious as well and staying in another room.

Perhaps he too, almost lost it so Monomi came to our rescue. I would kind of expect it more from that cutie Monomi to save us both rather than that other one, although

Monokuma dressed as a nurse surely made me feel a little bothered.

...

Ow, my head

where am I?

I fell asleep on the spot, now laying next to the stone I was sitting on a while before, on the cold sand.

Hell, when did I fall asleep

and why?

I tried to lift my body upright, but steadying my torso on my right arm was a bad idea.

My arm being unreliable, I fell, face down onto the sand.

Something wasn't right with me

my arm hurt to such extremes and I felt so weak and shaky, all I could do was lay there, feeling cold sweats flowing down my whole body.

That's it. I need to get help.

Taking a broken deep breath, I attempted to yell for someone.

The most my voice could offer right now was a hoarse and croaky 'help', 35 decibel at most, maybe as loud as a silent radio playing in another room.

An immense thirst was taking over my throat, I needed to drink water so badly.

Again, I raised my voice, as strained as it was, this time slightly lifting my left arm into the air, hoping one of the many cameras spread out on island grounds would catch it.

Maybe Monomi or Monokuma would notice that I wasn't in my cottage.

Maybe they would take a stroll around the area and find me laying here.

But nothing.

I wanted to attempt one final cry for help, when the exhaustion and thirst got the better of me

and I slowly

while blinking one last time into the sky

seeing the stars covering the nightsky hues

fade away.

to be continued-


	6. Second touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hajimes POV

Frightened by the loud banging on my door, I slowly open my eyes.

How long did I sleep?

I heard some voices outside and several hands banging on my door repeatedly.

I feebly take my phone to look at the time and date, it was 3 PM and wait, the day after yesterday,

meaning I had slept

over 24 hours.

"Hinata-kun? Please open the door!"

"My god, I think he doesn't hear us"

"Well duh- He must be unconscious as well you dumbass!"

"-can someone just open the door"

"I already sent Kazuichi-kun to get Monokuma or Monomi, he should be here soo-"

My ears buzz and I can't understand what they're saying in front of my cottage door anymore.

Hajime, this is not okay

no human being would be asleep for so long without eating or drinking,

this was close to being in a coma,

this wasn't some sort of stomach bug or virus, something was bad bad.

Then it hits me

bonding.

I bonded

I must have bonded with someone.

That's the only logical explanation there is.

With the last fragile strength that I had left, I searched in my mind for every person I touched as soon as I entered this island.

Then it hits me again

this time it clicks

Nagito Komaeda

I bonded with Nagito Komaeda

I found my soulmate.

But I couldn't focus on anything more.

My mind was going blank and as I almost couldn't make out any sounds anymore,

a bland 'thud' in the distance being the last thing I notice

I drift away, this time even deeper

yet again.

A/N: Nagito's POV

The next time my eyes opened, I found myself in the dining hall, lying on the ground with my head on top of a towel, Mikan's head peeking down on me worriedly, with everyone else from our class surrounding me.

Hanamura-kun was taking fast steps from the kitchen, bringing a glass of water to the circle.

Togami-kun was talking to princess Sonia about me probably having caught a heatstroke from the morning sun "but look at him sweating and look at how pale he is, I don't think he caught something from the heat." Byakuya responded, looking very concentrated into the air.

"Oh, is he cold? Has someone checked his temperature?" Sonia goes on while holding a finger up to her chin.

She approached my limp body on the ground, wanting to feel the temperature of my forehead, when she suddenly, with wide eyes, pulls back.

"Wh-what is it, Miss Sonia?" Mikan asks her in confusion.

"Ah, it's just, I forgot about the bonding.

I avoid it,

do understand that it's a personal decision as I am a princess after all.

I'm sorry. May someone go get a thermometer?"

The room went quiet for a long moment.

Everyone was looking at Sonia at first, then at each other

then all their heads turned to me.

All this time, I just felt incredibly thirsty and tired.

I feel myself almost slipping away from being conscious every time I don't focus hard enough on staying awake.

I tried to move to take the glass of water standing on the floor next to me, but I was barely able to move my arm

and I remembered the sore pain coming from my upper right arm, only now was it pulsing up into my shoulder and down into my underarm.

It hurt so much 

and I felt like throwing up.

Shifting my attention back to the class, Togami-kun was the first one to say the word

"Bonding."

and almost everyone made an 'oooh!' sound, nearly sounding like a choire.

"But who of us could have bonded with him??" Koizumi-san asked into the room.

Only then did I notice, that Hajime Hinata was the only one not around.

My mind shifted back to that magical moment in the ocean.

That tingling feeling when Hinata-kun tried to save me

that wave of warmth spreading into my body,

almost wrapping around me like a cozy blanket,

those rays of something gold glittering and shimmering in front of my mind's eye

it was so indescribable. Lost in my imagination, I groaned out

"H-hinata-kun..."

Again, everyone's eyes flew to me.

"That's it!" Nidai-kun shouts out.

"Hina-what?" Saionji-san splurts out, giving me a cold look from above.

"Where is that dude? Did someone see him?" Soda-kun mentions.

everyone was trying to make sense of the situation, while some were arguing with the others.

Kuzuryuu-kun interrupts the round of people talking all at once by stating "He must have bonded with Hinata, of-fucking-course. We don't know where Hinata is, seeing Komaeda like that you motherfuckers can only imagine how Hinata must look like right now. That means if we don't get those two to heal with him soon they will both die, do you shits understand that?"

His eyes were intense, all the while being annoyed by presumably everything.

Then everyone was sure.

"We have to go to Hinata's cottage, he must be feeling sick and resting there."

I cough out, as I noticed my throat being scratchy and dry from thirst.

So it's like that.

I laugh, at least as much as one can consider the sounds and spasms coming from me in this state of laughter, catching yet again the attention of the round of people.

The talking and fiddling continue, but I don't distinguish them from any other sound coming from my head anymore, the buzzing from my headache and the throbbing of my body almost paralyzing me.

I feel some people carrying me somewhere, but I couldn't focus.

Hajime Hinata, huh?

And there I was back then, as a child, always thinking I would one day bond with a beautiful girl.

Well, I guess I was almost right with that.

Hajime Hinata

that name keeps ringing in my head

and it's the last thought I was able to think

before passing the now and entering the darkness

yet again.

to be continued


	7. First meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you reached this chapter, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart! It only gets better from here on onwards :')

"I think he's waking up."

I felt the rough sheets of the bed I was laying in, as well as the ever so heavy weights on my eyelids, keeping me from opening my eyes too fast.

When I did open them, I was greeted by Sonia, who was standing on the right next to my bed.

She was looking at me with a kind smile.

Turning around, she spoke:

„Guys, Hinata-kun is waking up! Komaeda-kun is still in deep slumber though."

Her eyes moved to my left.

Only then did I notice that the bed I was laying on,

was a double bed 

and right next to me

lay Komaeda-kun

his right arm resting on top of my left underarm.

My god.

Wait, what is this feeling?

...

My arm, is it... tingling?

the place on my skin where Komaeda's arm was touching mine, it was filling me with this intense, yet calming warmth. 

It was almost softly vibrating through my veins

and into the rest of my body.

Something inside me told me to freak out, but for some reason, I didn't. I knew inside that it was the bond.

„Hinata, can you hear me?" Nanami-san asked as she stood up from the seat at the end of the room.

„I knew it. Hah. It was only a matter of time. My four dark Devas of Destruction haven't warned me about an incoming bonding for nothing."

„Tanaka-kun, let's give them a bit quiet space for now." 

Still smiling to himself, Gundham Tanaka walked back to the window with ocean view, turning his back and minding his business.

Nanami, after stretching into the air and yawning silently, stood in front of the bed and looked at me.

„Hinata-kun, listen.   
I hope you can remember what happened. Please don't worry right now.

We were able to save you both before, you know,

it was too late.

Anyways, you are both healing right now, so keep your arm like this."

She pointed at our crossed arms.

„You two were at the brink of death, so you should rest completely.  
Monomi was here before, she was familiar with bondings, she told us how to take care of you. She had to do something so-

„ugh, what is going on?"

Komaeda started rumbling as he moved on his bedside. The conversation must have woken him up.

My breath became inconsistent, I felt this flutter at the sound of his voice, I had to swallow my dry throat.

I lifted my upper body up in tiny movements, leaning upright against my pillow.

Komaeda's arm felt so soft

the pain that I was in a while back, now was mere soreness and tiredness left in my body. 

The main response I was perceiving during that moment was this healing energy,

calming every cell in my body and warming me up.

I turned to look at him,

but he was looking in my direction too

and at almost the exact same timing

did we look at each other, glancing to our sides

it was just a second

us looking at each other in the eyes

but it was too sudden and so awkward, 

that I turned my head away as quick as I had looked.

Komaeda must have still been groggy from sleep,  
because he abruptly sat up straight,

and resulting from his movements,

removed his arm from me.

We both instantly shuddered as soon as our skin lacked contact.

I could instantly feel a huge wave of pain and throbbing coming back,

the place where we touched now left cold.

I felt my body fall down and losing strength.

It hurt so bad again.

I could barely hear Komaeda, landing on his back again and groaning at the, I assume, same pain that I was feeling.

„No no no! You have to heal!"

Out of thin air, came Monomi onto the bed,

her body being way too soft and light to hurt our legs under the sheets.

She pulled Komaeda's and my arms back together

and as our bodies came in contact again

I let out a deep and loud sigh.

For a few moments, there was nothing again, 

nothing but the golden lights 

and sizzling sensation in front of my eyes,

as I closed my eyes in relief.

The warmth and the oh so good feeling sensation was back, I felt my body begin to recover again.

„Komaeda Nagito, you have to heal! That's your only priority now as my student, I cannot let you leave Hinata's side."

„...I'm sorry."

There he spoke again.

I don't know why, but each time I heard his voice leave his mouth,

I heard this soft ringing in my ears,

almost like when you have a cold and certain sounds just form this tingling sound in your head because you can't hear well

except I didn't have a cold

and I did hear very clearly and well.

Monomi gave us both a stern look, before releasing her paws from his and my arm.

My whole forearm, including my hand, was now laying on the bed,

with his whole forearm resting on top, almost as if we were holding hands.

Monomi jumped down from the bed, now wiggling towards the other three in the room.

„Everyone! Nanami-chan, Sonia-chan, and Tanaka-kun, thank you for keeping an eye on those two while I was gone. You should all head back for today, the sun is starting to set, I will take over from here on!"

The three of them, after each saying goodbye for now, left the room, leaving only Komaeda, Monomi and me.

„Now you two I will be right back, you must be dying of thirst, I will get you water.

Not that I actually would want you to die of thirst!"

She quickly added, looking worriedly at us.

„It is absolutely essential that you drink enough water now to recover well."

She puffed up her cheeks and gave us both a smile as she headed to the door.

„And don't stop healing! You need to keep touching, it's the only thing you both need right now."

These were her final words before leaving the room.

Now it was only Komaeda and me.

The air was filled with an awkward silence.

Should I say something to him? Is he even capable of holding a conversation right now?

I tried glancing at him without making it obvious, he seemed to be looking at his arm resting on mine.

He was awake, I think the healing really was working for him and me.

Although the soft buzzing on my skin and the healing was more than relieving right now,

I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

„Uhm, uh Komaeda..."

„...Nagito is just fine."

Ah yea, of course, it would be natural to use our first names. 

We were now bonded after all.

My head still wasn't quite able to comprehend what exactly that meant,

but those worries didn't cross my mind just yet.

Not right in this moment, as I was clustering up my courage to talk to him.

Which was a little uncomfortable all in itself,

I never was super good at introducing myself to people or meeting new people in general.

I mean, it wasn't like I was socially awkward or anything of the sorts, more was it just that I wasn't the most extroverted guy there is out there.

It was always a little hard for me to open up to other people, yet still..

„Exactly, Nagito was it, right?

I'm sorry for all of this.

Sucks that we have to get to know each other under these circumstances."

I fiddled a bit with the end of my blanket, looking down while clearing my throat.

Man, was I thirsty.

„It's okay. I guess we couldn't have prevented this anyway."

And again.

His voice was ringing in my ears, 

drawing little curls of golden rays into my mind and body.

Not to mention the constant healing I was experiencing through the touch of our skin.

I looked at him.

I was making sure to lean back a little, as not to stare directly at him.

He was looking straight ahead.

This was maybe the first time I was able to really see him up close in person, as my first time seeing him only being our encounter out in the ocean.

So this was the person I was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life huh?

His brightly moon-colored hair,

textured in soft waves, a little messy from all this chaos, ending just a bit above his shoulders,

his ends almost shining in a soft pink, like the innocent blush on a child's face,

his glimmering eyes, nose, lips,

following down to his jawline, slightly clenched,

his skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat,

his collarbones being prominent,

before following his white hue of a skin tone down to his chest,

which was slightly exposed due to him only wearing a loose t-shirt,

his arm... rested on top of my arm.

Again my focus shifted to the sensation coming from the healing.

I closed my eyes for a moment, needing some clarity to come back to myself and my senses.

That's when he spoke again.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really tried hard with this chapter and I'm already writing the next! I'm still not satisfied with the next chapter but it will be up soon.
> 
> What do you think of this story so far? I'd love to know c:
> 
> Again, all the love and so so much more to every person that takes their time to read this.  
> It means so much.  
> ❤️


	8. Bound To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello to every one of my few readers who check into this chapter <3
> 
> I just wanted to tune in and wish that you guys take good care of yourselves, as some of you may be in trying times due to current situations around the world.  
> If you have the chance to stay at home, then please do so! I hope you're able to stay with your loved ones.
> 
> That said, you guys will have more time and I have too, so, enjoy this and (I hope) more frequent updates! Writer's block is a real thing 😅  
> Anyways...

I leaned back and looked out the window in front of me across the room, staring into the orange-purple colored sunset, or at least, what could be seen from this room.

Hajime kept talking.

I just listened to him.

„Haha, I didn't even think too much of it when I saw you this morning! I mean, it-it didn't happen today, it was yesterday, I- I think? When you drow- I mean almost drowned! And I saved you.. Or was it the day before yesterday? Honestly I kind of lost track of what day it is because I slept for so long haha!"

He kept on brabbling like that for a bit.

I decided to throw a look at him again.

I turned to my right, still actively taking in the warmth from his body next to mine, and looked him in the eyes.

I had to swallow.

Why was I feeling so nervous? So fidgety?

His light olive brown, almost green colored amber-ish eyes were looking into mine

and he stuttered in his sentence, though oh so small.

And as the boy kept on talking to cover up the awkwardness

somehow I knew

and I honestly don't know why I felt like that

but I knew

that he was the one.

I smiled at him.

I tried to show him my most warm smile, just because he didn't stop fiddling with his words

and he seemed so nervous

just like me.

His eyes widened for a second.

I abruptly stopped smiling and looked at him worried with concern.

Wait, do I have something stuck in my teeth or something? 

Or did my smile scare him more than reassure him?

I know I'm not handsome, but was my smile really that bad?

I looked to the flowers standing on the bed drawer to my left, running my fingers through my hair.

„Haha, I'm sorry Hajime. I must look like a mess right now. Sorry for scaring you.  
Let's just focus on getting better right now shall we?"

Damn, 

well this is going great.

Here I am, healing with my now claimed soulmate, after he saved me from drowning

and I just ruin everything.

Damnit Nagito, get it together, haven't I prepared myself enough beforehand?? 

I was amongst important people now.

I was surrounded by talented hopeful people now.

And even more,

I was now bound to one of these talented hopeful ones.

for life.

and death.

I leaned back and laid my left arm on my forehead, covering my eyes and most of my face from his sight.

What the hell was that just now?

He smiled at me brightly and wide.

I really tried to keep the situation relaxed and as normal as it can be for us two,

but when Nagito smiled at me

I couldn't breathe for a moment.

He was glowing.

Literally glowing in my eyes.

His smile was doing something to me

he was calming me and stirring me up

warming my soul and shaking my core

all at the same time.

I still stared at him but I didn't notice until he stared back with big eyes and turned his face away

and leaned back to rest.

I looked down in front of me.

I felt the heat in my ears and my cheeks coming up.

God, why was I acting like I was a 14-year-old girl being shy in front of her crush or something???

I played with the end of the blanket, humming in response to Nagito's words saying we should focus on resting for now.

My god

and I'm supposed to be with him for the rest of my life???

I squeezed my eyes shut.

...

A few days pass like that. 

It was mostly just Nagito and me, resting and healing, drinking litres of water away, 

Monomi was the one looking after us most of the time. She brought us water whenever we needed more, as drinking water would supposedly speed up the recovery process,

Teruteru bringing us amazing food everyday so we could slowly start to refeed our bodies, as the healing took up most of our bodies' energies we barely held food down,

Some of the other classmates visiting us sometimes to see how we were,

most of them being nice, emphasis on most.

But like mentioned, most of the time, it was just Nagito and me, and the calming crushing of the ocean waves sounding in the distance.

We barely talked after that first mess of a conversation, only exchanging a few words here and there.

All we did was heal. Together.

The only time we stopped healing was when one of us had to go to the toilet.

In these short moments, my body always felt weak and cold.

I couldn't wait to heal again, even though it wasn't long each time.

When we touched again, was when I felt at ease.

I still couldn't get used to the golden sizzles and rays forming in front of my view whenever we started healing.

Sometimes, when Nagito was gone for a little longer because he took a shower,

I was especially restless.

I barely know him, yet my body craved his touch so bad.

It was all because of the bond, of course.

I wondered if he was the same when I went away for a short time.

Did he also feel this bothered and weakened when I was gone? Did he also need me?

Duh, of course idiot. He was just as bound to you as you were to him. But it wasn't anything romantic.

I didn't have any feelings for him. It was all coming from the bond I know.  
Him as well, whatever his feelings were towards me, it was to 99.9% coming from the bond, I'm sure.

I will get used to this, and he will too

and we will go on as normal people

as regular classmates

just classmates who needed to heal once in a while

but still, just classmates.

Nothing more.

...

„I'm so glad you two are recovering well. I think you two will be ready to be let out tomorrow, but I will have Tsumiki-chan check up on you then."

Monomi exclaimed happily, wiggling her ears in sync.

„It's just about time! Ya two have been keeping the school activites on hold for so long now I'm getting pissed." Monokuma warbled next to our bed.

„School activites? I thought this was a vacation we were to take before we start our actual school life st Hope's Peak."

I asked the black and white one.

„Now don't you worry. You two need to be able to get used to your situation, learn to notice early enough when you need healing, and heal accordingly!  
Forget the acitivities for now. We will take it slow from tomorrow on.  
It's not like we are in a rush anyway!"

Monomi cheered at us.

After bringing us new clothes to change and more water, both of them left.

These days I felt better.

I could finally hold food down, and the pain was mostly gone.

Even though not healing still made me feel a bit cold, it was the way it was now.

And I mean,

it's not like I would be away from him for a long time from now on anyway.

He was my soulmate.

And I was his.

I didn't notice myself smiling into pure nothingness.

„Hajime?"

Nagito waited as he handed me a bottle of water, looking at me with his freshly washed hair, his curls strands of hair falling from down onto the towel hanging from his shoulders, and his sparkling grey-ish green eyes shining at me.

He was wearing a white shirt and grey shorts.

‚Boyfriend material'

STOP

my mind was going to those weird places again.

It's been doing that ever since the beginning,

damn bonding.

Back to the boy in front of me,

he too looked way better than a few days ago.

I think he was doing a little better than me in general though.

He was able to go on a little longer without healing than me. I was mostly the one being hoarse and breathless when I was taking too long eating my meal and being far from him,  
or when I showered and dressed and it took a little longer than usual.

It did bother me a bit, but honestly it wasn't important anyway, I threw away the thought.

I took the bottle of water from his hand.

Our hands touching slightly and sending these sizzles into my body.

„Thanks."

Man I look forward to tomorrow.

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter!  
> I hope it makes you feel a little better if your day wasn't so good until now.
> 
> I really hope you all are safe and healthy!
> 
> Please let me know how you are 💗
> 
> If you need someone to talk, feel free to message me! I would be more than happy to listen to you c:
> 
> I don't know when I will update next, but I'll do my best to do so as soon as I can get myself to!  
> This story isn't dead yet ;)
> 
> Also, it's Komahina week so here's my part :)
> 
> Thank you for every nice comment, it means so much to me and my writing.
> 
> All the love.


	9. Lurking Feelings

"Careful!"

I breathe out, reaching out to him.

We walked on a softly sun-lit path, with many palm trees to spare shade.

It was still quite the walk until we were able to relax for ourselves.

"You have to take things slow remember? I mean, we both have to."

I made sure Hajime was steady enough, his overall condition was still rather frail, despite him being the one with the well-defined body. 

He looked very concentrated and his cheeks were glowing auburn. But it's no wonder, 

with this heat...

His body was still leaning against mine, his defined muscular, yet at this moment right now rather strained, arms looking for support on me. 

"Thanks, yeah, I will take better care of myself." came out of his mouth, hoarsely yet in a constant deep tone, it almost sounds like a grey whisper.

He was so close to my face,

but I think he didn't notice,

as he was collecting himself.

I was too.

...

But for other reasons.

A bond really was more intense than I imagined. The fact that my senses were so sensitive and over the edge whenever it came to him, made me aware of the sizzles and the golden rays in my eyes that much more.

We calmly continued our walk to the cottages.

I notice Hajime faintly smiling into the distance.

"Honestly I just wonder what everyone will be up to once we arrive at the cottages. I feel like I barely got to know anyone."

"Yeah, I am more curious about what we are gonna be doing in general though, with all this school trip talk I'm not sure what to expect."

"Do you think we will stay here a while?"

"Mmh, it looks like it to me. But I'm not as excited about staying here as everyone else" I scratch the back of my head, kicking some stones out of my way.

"Why?"

"It's got to do with my talent. I am the ultimate lucky student in case you didn't remember."

"I do remember that. It was the one talent I could memorize the most actually.

Why would your talent be the reason for you not being excited about our stay here?"

Hajime looked at me with big eyes.

I felt startled by his sudden stare, yet I remain cool as I smile at him reassuringly.

"My so-called 'talent' has it's downsides to it. I know it sounds a little peculiar. I just hope you never have to be a witness of that."

He kept staring at me intensely from the side, while I kept my focus on the sandy path before us.

"I wouldn't mind it." He almost tripped again, but he caught himself just before it was too late.

He cleared his throat. I tried not to let my worry for him show.

"Be careful, this way is full of little rocks and stones, you can fall easily. I know it's hot,

but don't you ever look ahead?

...Nevermind I'm sorry. I probably sound like a mother to you or something.

Just because we are soulmates now doesn't mean I should cling to you as if my life depends on it. I just am freaking annoying like that, please don't even bother with me.

Anyways..

What did you mean earlier? With 'I don't mind' ?"

Hajime slowed down his footsteps.

I turned around to look at him, wondering why he stopped.

Suddenly his eyes changed.

They were beaming with something, but I couldn't quite figure out what kind of emotion he was showing on his face.

He just looked at me.

Suddenly his eyes started to look like wet marbles

and his lip started twitching at his mouth corners

as he kept his gaze on me

for a short while

as he looked...

sad.

"Komae-, I mean Nagito, please don't think that you are a nuisance to me.

I actually thought you were very kind, the way you worried about me.

You don't have to apologize for that. 

It ... makes my heart hurt."

Now his stare was carrying tears, which were just about to flow down his cheeks.

His eyebrows shrug together, his face turns to face the ground.

I instantly felt a painful tug in my stomach.

Without thinking, without noticing much at all

I rushed to the boy in front of me,

my sleeves catching the globs of salty liquids just before they could escape his gaze.

And I'm sure that he didn't expect this

because neither did I in that moment

as my hands cup to sides of his face

and I, just like in a trance

pull him deep into the warmth of my chest

into my arms.

I thought I was dreaming.

I must have fallen over some rocks and hit my head some while back,

because this moment didn't feel real.

Not as in, too good to be true kinda thing, no.

I just really wasn't expecting this.

This situation felt surreal.

I wouldn't have expected me to act so weirdly in the first place, I mean, what the hell was wrong with me?

I don't know why, but when I heard him say what he said before, 

those words that left such a bitter taste in my mouth

my mind went blank.

All I could take in was the sudden and thick, blue color in my view.

I felt sick in my insides and I suddenly held in me this urge to cry, everything I saw in my field of view was tainted with this dark, enormous, blue hue. I never experienced something like that.

It must've been something from the bonding. Or I was just going crazy.

In that moment,

my world was tainted.

And then it wasn't anymore.

Because he was there.

Suddenly he was all I could see, feel, think or hear.

I felt his skinny arms going tightly around my body.

The healing instantly set in and even though this situation was too much

and so bizarre

I felt so calm and so, so relieved.

And I just knew that he must have felt the same way.

I heard a small groan in my right ear,

and he continued to hold me even tighter in his arms.

I couldn't focus on anything.

The healing was overpowering my whole being, yet again, but in the softest way possible.

We just stood there. For a little while.

And if I was honest, I didn't care how long we were standing there.

Because right there

in his arms

tightly

tugged against his body

did everything feel so right.

"Uhm, guys?"

I almost swallowed my tongue from getting jump scared like that.

In an instant we both jumped away from each other, which I instantly regretted

because the sudden physical goodbye made my skin shiver again.

Just embracing it, I looked up to see who was talking. 

It was Chiaki Nanami.

I nervously straightened my shirt and tried to clear my head.

How must this situation look like right now???

Nagito was faster than me, already looking neat and calmed down, the opposite of what he looked like just a moment ago, casually speaking with Chiaki.

"Oh hello, Nanami-chan. What a coincidence that we meet here."

"Hi, uhm, yes I was just on my way to come and visit you since you were supposed to be released today.

...

I'm sorry if I interrupted anything."

This time I finally gained my voice back.

"No!! No not at all, Chiaki hey!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Oh n- no you see we where just-.."

I fiddled with my hair. I could seriously punch myself right now.

Why. 

Am.

I.

Being.

Like.

This.

?

I smile crookedly, not knowing how to function like a normal human being

that's when she takes a few steps towards me.

"Hajime, are you okay? You look, how can I say this, kinda messed up right now."

Stepping into the space between Nagito and me, she stepped closer until she could touch me.

She wanted to feel my forehead.

Reaching out, she rested her other hand on my shoulder for support.

"Okay Hajime, your forehead feels so hot right now. I don't know what you two have been up to ever since leaving the infirmary, but you should really think about staying inside.

The sun is burning and I don't think strolling around will help either of you."

As reliable and collected as Chiaki just was, I agreed with her.

"Haha, you're right. And I'm here wondering why I was dripping in sweat."

I was just about to correct myself, because sweating in this kind of weather is kind of obvious

but I can't finish talking

because as I finished my sentence

as swiftly as taking a breath

did Nagito suddenly move next to Chiaki,

and with wild eyes

push her, with force

to the ground.

"...Just who do you think you are?"

...

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey I was finally able to motivate myself to write :)
> 
> Oh and please do not worry my loves, this won't turn into a weird abusive relationship - type of story.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave me feedback if you enjoyed reading this despite me rarely updating. I wish you all the love in the world and I wish you health my dear readers :)
> 
> Feel greatly hugged here! <3
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly


	10. The Shadow Like Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Okay I'm just gonna get into it
> 
> I am in an especially good mood, despite the fact that I didn't get any sleep today!
> 
> That means I did my absolute best with this chapter, this goes out to all my lovely peeps :)

My voice came out shaky. I felt the trembling in my joints, yet at the same time, was I also feeling the crimson heat emerging from my right arm up into my head, making my cheeks feel like the hood of a car, hours after it's been parked in direct sunlight.

My vision was blurred with redness, keeping focus on one objective was impossible. On the contrary, did my senses heighten all the more in these seconds.

Four. Four balls.

Two sets of eyes were on me.

I panted relentlessly. Nothing mattered.

I just wanted her to be gone. Away from his skin and warmth.

She shouldn't be this close to him.

He was mine.

My soulmate.

These timeless moments felt like they were eternal, yet they were over faster than anyone could blink.

It was when I heard her whine out upon hitting the ground,

and when I heard him yell out her name,

that the crimson filter started to weaken and fade.

"Chiaki!" Voiced aforementioned out as he rushed to her side.

I just stood there, watching the situation unfold.

She shouldn't have been this close to him.

He was mine.

My soulmate.

...

But,

why did I do what I did?

Why did I hurt her?

I didn't mean to, It's not like me to act in such a way. No, not at all.

She didn't even do anything back, did she?

But why?

Why Nagito?

Turning my head down, I take in the sweat pearls forming in the palms of my hands.

It was so red. Everything, just, drunk in red.

I couldn't see clearly, but actually no. Not in that sense. I could see from a physical point of view.

I just couldn't see the situation anymore, for what it was.

Red strings and rays were blocking my vision, and this pain, this throbbing pain, coming yet again from my arm, that wasn't normal, all these sensations were tainting my perception of reality.

Full of desperation, I aimlessly tried to gather my thoughts and form them into a plausible explanation for what had just happened.

"I'm fine, it's noth-" Was the only thing she managed to stutter out before wincing out of visible pain.

In my unexplainable state, I seemed to have not only pushed her, but I also had pushed her so hard, that her legs stumbled down over the rocky pathway, letting her body crash into the sharp rocks of the sidewalk, ripping open several bloody cuts on both of her legs and face.

Hajime, upon noticing all the wounds and bruising, threw his head up to pierce at me with his eyes.

His hazel marbles analyze my face, trying to look for an explanation. For anything.

I expect him to shout at me, to yell at me for doing this.

But he doesn't.

Instead he just looks at me with this look, I can't fully interpret.

I tried to reciprocate his silent plea for an answer, but the words don't find me.

I stutter out his name, muffled, as I run my fingers through my platinum locks, which were now drooping down flat from all the humidity and heat.

This moment didn't last long, however, as he turned to tend to Chiaki's pains, ultimately carrying her bridal style on the way to get her wounds treated.

"Hajime? Wait what happened??"

"Chiaki oh my god!!"

"What the hell-"

Some of the others just came from the distance, speeding their pace after catching sight of the two.

That's it. 

Hajime almost looked disappointed at me, but... I mean, why wouldn't he?

I couldn't understand myself right now.

I just couldn't.

It was probably impossible to strain your eyebrows more than this, as I furrowed my brows to infinity, trying to come up with something to straighten out this mess.

But the others arrived,

helping Hajime carry Chiaki,

asking questions,

looking at him, looking at her, looking at me.

and I set my eyes out for the blue endlessness.

...

The skirt almost flicks up right into my face. As the Monokuma nurse finished treating the last wounds and bruises with bandages and some ointment, he (or she?) finally removes himself from Chiaki's bedside, making free room for the others and me to approach her.

Taking the first aid kit and used up cleansing tissues, Monokuma nurse leaves the room with swinging hips, left to right.

I want to come closer to her bed, but I stop to make space for the others to let them go see her first.

I listen to the sound of a pen scratching, sliding, and scraping on top of a notebook while hearing whispered "We were so worried" and "Chiaki how do you feel?".

"I knew it was to be expected, but I didn't think something like that would happen so soon, and with such, drastic consequences."

Monomi continues to elaborate while taking notes, most likely documenting what had occurred today. Some of the other girls, such as Sonia, Mahiru, and Akane, seemed to be swarming the injured with silent yet careful and gentle hugs and loving gestures.

"Hajime, if you would."

Monomi sets down pen and notebook, climbing down from the chair she sat on, slowly wiggling her way to the doorframe leading to the hallway.

I take it as a sign to follow her.

I glance at Chiaki one last time, her state already looking a bit better, although still looking like she came straight from battle. She sees me and throws me a reassuring smile, carefree as she always was, I can only faintly smile back, before getting up to follow our bunny-teacher-figure.

I sigh into my steps. I felt my body exhaust once again, signaling me to heal. It has been a while now since we healed.

...

... Nagito.

...

"I think you know why I'm talking to you specifically right now."

We come to a stop at a corner with a staircase leading up to the second floor.

I let myself plump onto one of the stairs, lowering myself just the right amount to be able to face Monomi properly, for once.

"I can only assume, but, it's a bond thing, right? What happened back there?"

"You're correct... Unfortunately."

She looks at me with big eyes, almost looking like they're pitying me.

I don't look into her eyes anymore, instead, I focus on the details of her fur, trying to distract myself so I don't crumble.

"You see, I'm not a bonding expert, but I did witness one or the other case, and I think I know why things unfolded the way they did. Komaeda-kun is not a bad person, he is a very very caring and attentive soul. But a soulmate bonding can be quite, intense, to put it lightly. There is not only the aspect of you two being tied for life and having to heal to sustain your lives, there is also the emotional factor. And while you might not think of your feelings as that far out already, you two are, undoubtedly, bound together. By heart I mean! Nagito's sudden action was most likely the result of jealousy."

With the sudden urge to rub my temples, I start to become impatient and fidgety.

"Ok Monomi I get it, I think it's very clear that some type of jealous feelings were involved in this. But..."

I swallow down the lump in my throat.

"...why, just before N-Nagito did... what he did... 

why did I suddenly see everything red?"

The pink-white-ish creature looks at me in cute confusion.

As I was finally out of the burning heat, I could follow my thought process more clearly.

"It wasn't just that I saw red, I saw red everywhere and I felt... anger. And jealousy. And I felt insecurity, like I was insecure. But those weren't my feelings!"

Bringing back the memory, I felt my eyes starting to get teary.

Looking at the ground, I continue to share my thoughts out loud.

"I can't really explain it well myself, but it seems like, like, I wasn't the one who was feeling these, and I was just feeling these because, I am bonded. To Nagito. And he was feeling all these things, and the bond was making me feel these things because, he was feeling them. And to think that..."

I spoke my throat dry, unable to blurt out anything else.

My voice giving in, the whole floor suddenly turned cold and quiet.

Monomi seems to be thinking hard to come up with something to say.

But then, something suddenly clicked inside of me.

And this time it wasn't something metaphorical, something, in my arm, actually started to change.

Before Monomi can mouth out anything else, before I can even give her any more time to think of what to say in response to my brain waste, I get up.

Running past the patient rooms, running past the room Chiaki was staying in, I rushed out of the infirmary and back into the tropical heat.

I can faintly hear a small "Hajime wait" coming from behind, but I don't bother to turn back.

I wipe away the tears escaping my eyes, as I take one short moment to orientate, to focus.

The throbbing ache, it was pulling me. Like an anchor, like a rope tied, never to be untied again.

I started running. My body suddenly, as if all the exhaustion just dropped down like dead weight from my limbs, started carrying me through the air like I didn't know what tired even was.

I only wanted to see one person right now.

I only needed to see him right now.

Only that one, idiot.

I passed the cottages, even came by the supermarket, and ran and ran and just kept running until I finally arrived.

I felt it now, he was close.

The turquoise wetlands were opening themselves up in front of me, and I took one short moment to catch my breath, my feet burning from the grilling heat of the white sand.

A little further to my right, I saw an array of palm trees, bushes, and big rocks decorating the shore. I felt something, this energy, pulling and tugging at the strings of my heart.

I found you.

Finally.

Breathing out, without averting my gaze, I slowly but steadily approach the rocks and palm trees.

And I don't have to come too close to be able to hear

a sound

a silent whimper

a silent cry

coming from under the shade of the trees and rocks.

And as I come closer to the sounds,

which turn out to be rather loud cries the closer I get,

muffled, yet painful chest-aching weeps,

and I finally reach the place,

crouching down to all my fours, 

and I finally see him,

curled up into a small ball,

face buried in his arms,

as he cries his heart out,

protected from the sunrays,

all alone.

...

My heart drops into the sand beneath me.

I almost didn't take notice of it.

But now I clearly felt it, this warm, soft, serene hand, gently caressing the top of my head.

Out of instinct, I loudlessly shriek out, whipping my head up to see who was there.

...It was Hajime.

No. I didn't want him to see me like this, I didn't want anyone to have to bear with me and endure me after what I did.

Especially not him.

Not my... no. I don't even deserve to call him that.

I press my eyes shut, trying to throw his hand of off me, fighting against him being this close to me.

"No, Haj- Hinata, please leave me be. I want to be alone right now."

I didn't even deserve to call him by his first name anymore.

I feel him trying to grab my wrists, in an attempt to calm me down.

"Please, go away! I am just a freaking mess. You shouldn't have to deal with me, if only we never..."

I try to say the words I initially didn't want to say, but I get stopped mid-sentence.

Not violently, not through aggression.

But with a softness, no one could ever do it like him.

He shushed me softly. "Shhhhhh. It's okay."

Shhhhh. Like a mother trying to calm her baby down. 

He finally got a hold of my wrists, as I eventually struggle to resist his attempts to silence my cries.

Still having my eyes tightly shut, I slowly loosen my eyelids, to look at him, at last.

And it was one of those never-ending moments,

moments like those you would only know of through movies or books,

those eternal moments stuck in space and time,

as he continued to shhhhh me and whisper me faint words of safety,

that I finally open my eyes, and take in the sight,

of my, soulmate.

It didn't take me long to notice the glimmer of tears which ran down his face,

all while he is still smiling, pained yet visibly relieved.

"You really are a dork, you know that right?"

He laughs lowly and with an attractive rasp, when he suddenly stops, to look at me.

His eyes glow deeper as he lets go of my wrists,

his body crouching forward so his knees are in between my legs.

And as he lifts his hand to, 

ever so softly,

caress my cheek,

his other hand finding balance on the sand next to me,

does it feel like a little eternity,

as his eyes glow dark and intensely,

when his eyes faintly close,

while his warm breath,

now only millimeters away from my face,

stops,

so his lips meet mine.

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatever you may have to say after this chapter, let it out here.
> 
> I truly hope this made you at the very least a little happier than before.
> 
> I really gave it my all in this chapter, and I think this is also my longest chapter yet!
> 
> My little gift to you, since I couldn't be happier reading your comments and seeing you vote for my story :')
> 
> I hope you continue to have an amazing day or a wonderful night.
> 
> All the love in the world and every beautiful thing I can wish upon you,
> 
> yours truly.


	11. But Even My Own Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dead. Yet I have been resurrected once again because~
> 
> My fanfic reached 1k reads :')
> 
> Although it doesn't seem like much and people say that the kudos are more important than how many reads you have, it still means more to me than anyone could think! To think that people besides me and my sister found my story amusing enough to read, even a lil bit, makes me so happy :))
> 
> So to celebrate, I will pick up this fic and I will start a new story as well.
> 
> If you read this right now, please accept this hug
> 
> ~🤗~
> 
> All the love, please enjoy.

~

I almost stumbled over my own feet, trying to keep up with his pace. Passing a diverse bunch of green, brushing our sides as we pass, I try not to let my face aggressively french-kiss the ground.

"Why're you going so fast- I, I can't keep up-"

"Patience, Hajime! We are almost there."

That's when he took my hand.

We continue to karate-chomp our way through the raw nature, delicately placing our feet so we wouldn't hurt ourselves, until finally, we broke out of the shadows.

My eyes were bedazzled.

Sparkling and foaming infinity blues, the light, just as close to perfect as one can describe, caressed the horizon with warmth, it was the perfect harmony of coldness and warmth, all in front of me.

"Tadaa! Surprise, hehe..."

I stared at the painting come alive and then at the boy next to me, dusting off the sand from his feet, schoolgirl-style.

"I know, it's nothing special or anything. I just wanted to see you happy. You didn't seem like yourself lately, and it hurts me to see you down. So yeah..." Mumbling down the end of the sentence, he struggled to hold eye contact with me.

I took a step towards him. Right in front of him, I can't help but let my mouth corners lift up into a sly grin. How could he unintentionally be so damn cute?

I connected our hands, despite the rather fresh breeze on this beach, I now was close enough to feel his tiny breaths against my skin.

Gazing down his eyelashes, I directed his face to face me, ever so gently guiding his chin up with my fingers.

"I love it. I haven't been able to relax, and ...spend time with you.

This is perfect, 

thank you, Makoto."

...

I removed myself from his touch.

Nagito, now a bewildering mess, just stared at me in full-on shock.

"Was.. was that a, a- kiss??"

Said boy, while still staring at me, and I tell myself it's from the suddenness of it all, licks his lips rather thoroughly, as if he was inspecting whether what just happened, really did happen and if it wasn't just in his imagination (again). An inferno heat creeps up my neck and ears, as I cough out of instinct, so I have a chance to break this unbearable situation, and more so, to break the almost electric tension that built up between me and the unbearable sight, that was Nagito Komaeda, eyes still glistening from crying, his shirt laying sloped as to reveal his collarbones, with the most confused deer-like expression, wetting his now rose-colored plump lips, because of what I just did.

I couldn't anymore.

"L-let's just go back now, we can't just sit here in a-a bush, the other's will come to look for us..."

Since he didn't show any sign of his soul still being in his body, I pulled him up by his hands, dusting off his clothes neatly (and nervously). I felt like a dad right now, mustering up his shy child for the first day of school. Except we were faaar from such a situation.

"Wh-what time is it?? Heh, I bet it's already time for lunch!! Come on, N-nagito...!"

I pulled him with me for a bit, just far enough for us not to stand in that spot anymore, until my courage left me and I, without saying anything else, let go off his arm just under a tree by the path that leads to the beach, and walked away without turning back.

He's not a baby, he'll have a conscience and walk back to his cottage instead of staying there.

I'm trying to collect the pieces of my coolheadedness, but my mind is as blank as a

the sky above me, and I can't help but run, almost a bit too dramatic, back to my cottage.

This feeling reminded me of when you confessed to your elementary school crush, almost everyone knows that feeling right?

and then you found out that they actually liked you back, but,

but they were a boy

and you were a boy

and everyone in your class found out

and everyone started to make fun of you

but the boy and you really like each other

so you keep it a secret and bear with the insults and the bullying

until you both finally start middle school and-

...

Shit.

~~~

...Do you think she'll accept these?"

I examine the wonderfully baby-pink glowing cherry blossoms, which Monomi had urged me to buy from the Rocketpunch market.

"Yes Komaeda-kun, these are perfect! Any girl would be happy to be greeted by such pretty flowers, and I'm sure especially Chiaki will like them."

"I hope so, thank you again Monomi. I just that more than the flowers, that she will accept my apology. Alright, I'll go in. Bye now."

I bid the pink plushie goodbye and straighten my back as I, cherry blossom bouquet in hand, carefully make my way to Chiaki's cottage.

My hair hasn't been laying right ever since yesterday, probably because of all the... stress? Walking by some of the other cottages, I look into the window reflections and frantically try to make my weak curls look at the very least somehow presentable.

I was just about to turn right to Chiaki's cottage when my ears pick up what sounds like silent chatter coming from where I was headed.

"Can I be honest with you? A-And I'm just telling you this so don't tell anyone else!! I- I haven't showered in, in... four days..."

"Wait, do you mean that??"

"Don't make me feel embarrassed about it! I just, can't -uhm... I can't tie my kimono alone that's why!!"

A short silence falls.

"You know what? Once we make sure Chiaki feels better, I'll help you wash up and then I'll help you tie your kimono."

"What? But that's embarrassing!! I- I ..."

"Hiyoko, it's seriously fine. It must've been awful, not being able to shower for so long. And also, I've heard the others make comments to you about it as well."

"Yeah, well, the others are just a bunch of stupid pigs!!"

"But they aren't fully wrong, don't you think so?"

"..."

"Let's just go in and make sure Chiaki's bruises are getting properly treated by Mikan, then let's head to your cottage, alright?

"...Fine."

I silently stood near the exit, examining the situation at hand. I think it'd be best if I don't go there right now. I should wait until the others are gone or else they're gonna think I'm just out for trouble again.

Sighing in silent shame over why I'm standing here in the first place, I faintly step to the left instead, pacing to my holiday home,

when someone quickly grabs me by my shoulders,

covering my mouth and pulling me out of sight.

In fight response I wriggle and try to free myself,

when I find myself in another cottage.

My butt hitting the ground, I struggle to turn around and see, it was Souda.

"Hey dude." He grins at me like a sheepish clown would grin at his audience, after telling a joke that didn't get as much excitement as he'd hoped for.

I can't hide a chuckle, as he helps me up to my feet and puts his arm around me to make me sit at his table.

"You scared me."

"Well, you looked way scarier than me, walking around like someone's been killed."

"Hah, you got me."

He tidies his table from all the metal materials and the tools that were spread on there, so he could sit in front of me.

He looks a bit bothered, as if he was trying to think of the proper words. He isn't someone to be all serious, his attitude gives off more of an 'hey bros! let's have fun!' kind of vibe.

But he's a good guy, and so full of hope. Having him as a friend would be more than wonderful.

"Listen, bro, I know things have been kinda crazy for you and all, but you seriously need to chill out. I can't stand everyone being on edge about what happened. You can't label yourself a villain is what I'm saying."

"I appreciate you worrying for me, Souda. But me "chilling out" won't change the fact that I hurt Chiaki. Purposefully, even though I never intended for that to happen."

"Yea, but: You are bonded Komaeda. I don't really know much about all these, soulmatey-things but, what I know is that... soulmates just sometimes do stupid things because, well, they care for each other, I guess."

He rubs the back of his head uneasily.

"All I'm saying is, don't beat yourself up, bro. Just talk to her, she'll understand."

"You're probably right." I smile at the wooden tiles beneath me.

The flower bouquet started to lay its head low, or so I notice (I still held them in my hand all this time) so I get up.

"Thank you for talking to me, Souda. You really are a great friend. I think I should head back now, but let's hang out later?"

"Of course bro, let's go check out the girls later. I've been wanting to spend more time with Miss Sonia..."

He gets lost in imagination, so I just shrug it off and make my way to the door. My apparently new claimed "friend" accompanies me to the exit.

As I step outside and turn around to smile him bye one last time, he embraces me into a generous hug, patting my back casually, just like a true brother- no, "bro".

Happy from his friendliness, I hug back. 

Is it possible that despite all my mistakes and wrongdoings, 

despite my unsocial weird nature, 

that I really made... a friend here? 

A normal chill friend?

I feel giddy contentment rising up within me, when I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my chest.

I curl up slightly in Soudas arms, as my vision suddenly turns dark and red. Red-ish flickers and curtain-like colors blend in with what I see,

and I just immediately know what this is about.

Souda was just about to say something, when I'm suddenly pulled back by harshly.

Because of the impact, I can't possibly react fast enough to recognize whose hands forced me to fall behind. 

The cherry blossoms I held flew to the ground, losing a few rose-colored petals in the process.

I barely am able to steady myself on my feet again when I, still blinded by crimson rage in my eyes, look up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Souda doesn't have time to answer when he,

without hesitation,

grabs said boy by the collar,

as he lifts him up like he was nothing,

to slam his back against the cottage door behind him.

"D-dude, what the hell man???"

"He's not yours for you to just touch him like that."

I hear him, almost growling. My body quickly carries me next to him, grabbing his arms in an attempt to calm him.

"Hajime, it's fine, it was literally not what you think it was!"

"Oh yes it was, I'm not stupid. Do you think I would let the same thing happen to me again???

Just like with him?"

I don't react, instead, I'm completely in my head, trying to fathom what he just said.

Everything in this moment happened too quickly,

but I only slowly realised

that he didn't mean me.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you have any requests for this story or for a new story!
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think c:
> 
> Have a good day/night loves<3


	12. |Part 11| And So The Veil Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something in my heart zipped me, when I said what I had just said a moment ago.
> 
> Do you think I would let the same thing happen to me again??? Just like with him?
> 
> My own words echoed back at me, and there was this uncomfortable pull in my chest that, just as fast as it had come, made all the wrath and red anger pass away. I quickly took in my surroundings, soberly acknowledging the mess I had put myself in,
> 
> yet again.
> 
> Trying not to reveal the shame I held inside, I slowly let Souda down, loosening the grip around his collar, giving him space to breathe.
> 
> He coughs out with furrowed brows, throwing me a look.
> 
> It was a rather terrified expression, but I can't analyze his facial expression long enough as he looks over my shoulder

~~~

Something in my heart zipped me, when I said what I had just said a moment ago.

Do you think I would let the same thing happen to me again??? Just like with him?

My own words echoed back at me, and there was this uncomfortable pull in my chest that, just as fast as it had come, made all the wrath and red anger pass away. I quickly took in my surroundings, soberly acknowledging the mess I had put myself in,

yet again.

Trying not to reveal the shame I held inside, I slowly let Souda down, loosening the grip around his collar, giving him space to breathe.

He coughs out with furrowed brows, throwing me a look.

It was a rather terrified expression, but I can't analyze his facial expression long enough as he looks over my shoulder

towards him.

And I feel my stomach turning blue, as I subconsciously swallow,

despite my mouth being as dry as the sand on the beach.

It was a matter of seconds

and I,

now a little desperate, scan Souda's face for a hint

a sign,

of what was awaiting me.

The terror that occupied the folds and creases around his eyes and mouth were fading into... I can't describe it-

and it doesn't really matter.

I turned around.

He stood closer than I had expected. I wanted to look him in the eyes, 

but every ounce of courage left me. 

Suddenly his shoes seemed way more ogle-worthy to me than his face.

Nothing could possibly compare to the crushing feeling I felt right now, the worst of it: I still didn't quite know why my stomach turned like that,

but my gut whispers to me,

ever so faintly,

that it had something to do with our bond ... Although it was pretty obvious to me, and likely everyone else as well... Did he think about this as well?

Coming back to the moment,

I couldn't bare the weight of whatever his eyes would communicate to mine, but just as I was about to lift my gaze,

another person enters the scene.

"What is going on here?" Akane walks into the round, supporting Chiaki with her arms.

Despite Chiaki looking perfectly fine, the bandages around her knee and ankle made you think twice about her carefree appearance.

"Why do you all look like a corpse has been found?" The brown-haired tall girl stares around at our faces, Souda still standing in front of his closed cottage door, myself a step away from him,

and him,

away from me at arm's length.

A frail yet stern voice interjects: "I don't mean to judge a situation without being involved, but I think you two need to have a serious conversation. Don't take this in a bad way, but I saw everything from my cottage window."

I can't bear the situation any longer, being exposed, my mishap open for everyone to see and hear, 

I instinctively, trying to defend myself, try to speak up when I'm interrupted by the same girl.

"Hajime, you seriously need to get a hold of yourself. You can't go around acting like a brainless animal.

You too, Komaeda, please you two, you need to talk this out."

Defeated, I ball my hands into fists, bearing her words, which cut sharper than any knife would in this situation.

"You guys have to understand that you are classmates right now, there's bound to be many people around you two.

You can't go act out on your jealous feelings as you please, while hurting everyone else around you."

The pink-haired gamer comes limping towards us, taking a stand just between Nagito and me.

I see Nagito look down at her leg with heavy concern, seeing him she quickly assures: "I'm not blaming you for this, Komaeda. Please don't feel bad, okay?"

She really had a way with words, the almost playful change between hard and soft tones in her voice, makes you think she really put much thought into what she said. (A/N: She's just tired honestly)

She now puts her hands on our shoulders, her left hand on Nagito's, her right on mine.

"Just, talk about your feelings. You have to solve this now and learn to understand each other, or you guys won't last long if you keep this quarrel up."

Then she turns to walk away, frail and feeble.

"Hey, Nanami-chan, let's go eat something, wait!" Akane jogs swiftly after her.

My stomach turns even more now,

as Nagito spurts out something.

But it's so quiet, it seems like he was talking to himself almost. 

He hurries to pick up the fallen flowers, and takes off into Chiaki's direction,

and in the last second before he turns out of my sight,

I can make out sparkles dripping from his jaw.

I can only stare at all the happenings.

"Man, this is getting too much for me." Utters out Souda before he enters his cottage and closes his door shut,

leaving me all alone.

...

Why was this so hard? Why couldn't we understand each other? Why couldn't we just be open about our feelings?

I only now take notice of my tears, wiping them away with my sleeve as I catch up with Nanami, now reaching the end of the pool.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I, I've been wanting to give you these and apologize but, I couldn't find the right time.

I bow down and stretch out my arms in front, holding up the now slightly withering cherry blossom flowers.

Yes, that's right. You are beyond acceptable, so a half-ass apology and some flowers will do the trick right? You seriously haven't changed. The most hopeless person on earth, why are you here again? By pure luck? Cause you are so talented? Is that also the same oh-so-holy talent that caused your parent's-

"Thank you."

I flinch at the suddenly warm hands, waiting for me to hand the bouquet over. I didn't notice that I had shut my eyes tightly, so I straighten my back and, abashed by her kind beam, give her the flowers.

"No, I really am sorry. Someone like me should never have lifted a finger against someone like you. I hope you can forgive me..."

Never having been able to truly show my emotions, I can only show her my weak expression of friendliness. 

"Someone like you? It's fine, you don't have to apologize anymore. I get why you acted like that. If you now only solved this problem with Hinata, everyone would feel much more at ease."

"I'll try."

No more words fell, as she continued her way to the dining hall (A/N: She really just went to play games in the lobby)

Turning my head to the right, I make out my reflection in the swimming pool.

As the blue-ish waves kept shaking up my silhouette,

and as the voice kept throwing in repeated words of utter darkness,

I knew what had to be done now.

Stepping towards Hajime's cottage, I let my knuckles greet the wooden door, hopefully greeting his ears in the process as well.

It doesn't take long for him to respond, and as he finally opens the door,

I finally get to see him again.

But,

he looked saddened.

He pauses for a moment, before said boy, with slightly furrowed brows, opens the door to welcome me in.

The inside of his cottage is simple,

minimalistic, yet comfortable enough.

I honestly don't know what I specifically expected his room to look like,

but I don't care to further indulge in that thought,

as something else catches me in my tracks.

Everything

in here

smelled

of him.

You know very well that you are here for a serious conversation, yet here you are, almost swooning over his scent?

...

Was the bond really that extreme...?

I never even liked boys, but everything about him was so...

hard to resist.

...

Get it together, Nagito Komaeda.

He offers me a seat at the table, and I silently thank him as I sit down.

"It's not like we have a kitchen in our cottages, so I technically couldn't offer you anything, but I took these with me from today's breakfast, so-"

He proceeds to place two little orange juice bottles on the table, you know, the usual freshly-pressed, breakfast kind of orange juice.

"Thank you."

I know it hasn't been all too long ever since our bond formed, but even to this very moment, I can't focus when he is near me.

Especially now, in this enclosed space, only us two and nobody else, I felt the most scatterbrained.

I took a sip of the orange juice, throat laying low in my neck.

"I'm not usually like that."

My eyes dart to him, his body turned to face away from me while still keeping his face in my direction. 

I go back to the events of before. 

That's right.

"You know, it wasn't my intention to- to just b-barge in between you like that."

You suddenly threw me back.

"I-I just couldn't think straight anymore when I saw you hugging, S-Souda, so..."

And then you proceeded to threaten Souda.

"All I could see was red, it was like hot fire was eating me from within, and I lost my focus, and..."

And then you said something I didn't understand.

Something that made clear to me, that there was more to your anger than I thought.

It wasn't just the bond.

I get up from my seat, taking slow steps towards Hajime, who was still on his feet, leaning against the wall next to his bed.

"It was the same for me, back then with Nanami-chan."

I try to relate to his words.

"I've heard a lot of stories, and I've heard from people too, that a bond isn't just the perfect romance fairytale everyone romanticizes it to be."

He hums in agreement.

"Yes, I've heard that too. Although experiencing it first-hand really is something else."

I bite my lip, thinking of how to proceed the conversation.

"Listen, what you saw before, was nothing like what it may have looked like to you.

I was feeling... troubled. So I was confiding in Kazuichi-kun."

"But why wouldn't you talk to me?"

His sudden sternness catches me off guard, going from unsure to concentrated in seconds,

just as I mentioned the events from before.

"Because, it's complicated between us, at least it was."

I see the irritation in his eyes, and I interpret it to be not exactly because of myself, but more because of what I had said.

I slowly go on.

"We are bonded. For life. Yet we barely talk and communicate. I feel like I know nothing about you,

yet at the same time we are supposed to heal.

Everyday.

I know that we sometimes talk, especially as we heal, but it's not enough.

I still feel like you're a stranger to me."

My inner voice wants to taint me with darkness once again, but this time I shrug it off, fighting my hardest, so I don't lose myself.

He looks to be deep in thought. I can't interpret his thoughts anymore, as he simply just looks at me and listens to me.

"I- I get where you're coming from. But, it's really not that easy for me, I.."

He looks down.

The air around us suddenly didn't feel as thick anymore as it did a moment ago,

now I only wanted to understand.

I wanted to understand him, I wanted to understand him so I could understand what was fueling him beyond the craziness that the bond was doing to us already.

I also wanted him to understand me,

...

why were we making this so hard?

"I think there's a lot we misunderstood about each other, Hajime. Even more, I think there's a lot we never even knew about each other in the first place."

Now standing close to him, I take his hands into my own.

That's when the healing happens.

Both of us,

overcome by the exhaustion that grew bigger the longer we were apart,

cursed for life by the soulmate mark that has been left on our feeble souls,

letting us ache for the other whenever we were even just one inch too far away,

fell to our knees.

The healing just from his fingertips was so immensely strong,

I couldn't feel my legs for a moment.

That's when Hajime catches me in his arms,

our legs now locked on the floor.

I can't help but groan out from the sensation of finally being able to regain energy,

and he does the same.

For a few minutes, nobody moves. Nobody talks.

We just take in the warmth

and the wonderfully comforting feeling of golden lights flowing through our bodies

rejuvenating us from within.

It probably was just a few minutes, us sitting there on our knees, leaning into each other, just taking in our bodies for energy and healing,

but these oh so insignificant few minutes,

felt like a little bit of eternity for me.

And I'm sure now, it was the same for him.

I will never find something that is even close to compare to this.

Maybe the hug of someone you loved, after you haven't seen them in so long. Or maybe first time you hold hands with someone you fell in love with. Or maybe the butterflies in your stomach, when you experience your first kiss?

Some time passes, as we both regain mindfulness, and slowly adjust ourselves so we, still sitting on the floor, being careful to not interrupt the healing, can sit comfortable with our backs leaning against the bed.

It was almost like out of a movie, the way we were able to exchange words without exchanging words. 

I leaned against his shoulder, as he decides to carefully take his hand and

put his hand on my thigh

stroking in soft rythms with his thumb, left to right.

My heart sinks to my chest

why did this make me feel so many things at once?

I run my hand through my hair strands, trying to self soothe myself

but I'm not very successful,

so I shift my attention to his hand

that was still caressing me softly.

Looking at his hands, I can see all the rough edges and the neglected parts of skin covering his long, yet slender fingers.

Has he been suffering just as much as I was?

Did he hurt in the same way that I did?

Did he also want us to come closer?

I caress his hands, which were ice cold despite the tropical warmth on this island,

and search for answers in the infinites of his eyes.

His green eyes, strikingly beautiful,

now looked dark and deep,

reciprocating my gaze.

He looked faintly flustered, yet he held the eye contact.

Was this the man that I was bound to be with forever?

His lips part ever so smoothly.

"Okay...

Let's start again."

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there anything I can improve? If so, feel free to let me know.
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


	13. |Part 12| Something Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei loves! I hope you are having a wonderful start of the week so far, and if not, I hope I can bring you some comfort with this chapter.
> 
> Are you feeling okay lately?
> 
> I myself am having a little bit of a rough time, but I really wanted to update for you guys so here it goes :') <3
> 
> =>Also, if you like my story I'd be more than happy if you follow me! I have a whole list of fanfics planned, mostly Komahina, but you can also request something and I may just bring your idea/ship/au to life (in my writing style ofc :> ) so I'll have more coming in the future <3

~~~

I played with the sand beneath my feet.

It was so pretty outside today, and I always loved the beach so much.

My jacket started to stick to my body, it was so hot being under the sun for so long. 

"Why don't you take off that thing? Your cheeks are flushed, my love."

I continue to layer the sand, which I generously doused with water I had collected from the ocean before, so it properly forms into the castle I wanted to build.

The castle of my dreams.

"He's so focused, it's like he's always in his dream world."

"So what? That boy has enough going on around him, let him be."

"But at this rate, I'm starting to get worried he'll..."

"Don't. He'll be fine. He's okay,

I mean, he is doing okay right now.

Right, my boy? Nagito?"

My hands started to turn red and cold. But I needed to build the castle. The castle for mum and dad and me to live a happy life

full of love and hope.

"He's not listening again, could you-"

"I'll get his jacket, but listen to me honey. He's fine, kids forget such things easily, and if anything, we can get him a new dog, and we have access to the best medical professionals there are out there. So let's just enjoy our trip okay?"

Mum's and dad's voices are muffled by the distance, but I can still hear them even though they think I'm not listening.

I hear my mother sigh and groan out, just like always when she was annoyed.

"Alright. All this has been so stressful, anyway. I really have to go get a massage later on."

The only thing that is important in this world is hope.

I don't need anyone else, I don't need anyone at all.

I just have to be hopeful.

Suddenly my father lifts me to my feet, and takes off my jacket.

"Son, remember what your old man tells you:

Always be hopeful. Hope is always gonna be stronger than despair, so always hope for the best."

I smell something weird coming from his breath as he talks to me,  
and because I don't like that smell,  
I try to move away, but he grabs me by my shoulders instead.

"Understood?"

"Yes dad."

"That's my son."

I'm finally let go, so I turn around to get more water from the ocean. The castle had to be done before we went back to the hotel.

We were only gonna be here for a couple more days, so once we were back home I wouldn't get to play at this beach anymore.

I grab my bucket and run to the waves, catching some of the salty water before it flows away again, and run back to finish my work.

It has to be perfect, so he can recognize it when he comes back.

The castle was perfect now. It had all the rooms we needed. I wanted to go because I hear mum and dad moving,

but then I remember something very important,

but mum and dad call me, they already packed up their things,

so I build one last thing,

out of the sand that was still a little wet,

a bone,

and a drinking bowl next to the castle,

so he has something to eat and drink when he comes back.

Satisfied, I admire my hopeful castle one last time.

...

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

I yelp out, as I am awoken by cold liquids slapping my face.

Immediately, my body finds itself up tight and alert,

but it takes no more than a few more moments before I relax again,

as my ears take in the heavenly low vibrating tone,

that is Hajime's laugh.

"Hahaha, I'm sorry Nagito. You just looked so funny sleeping, I had to freshen you up a bit."

I just chuckle into me, wiping the water off my face and neck, as I hear Hajime stop his laughter abruptly. I stop to look at him, and he just looks at the water, wearing the weirdest facial expression.

I shrug it off, and follow his eyes to admire the aforementioned view, together with him.

„To be honest, it wasn't really that you looked funny while sleeping. You looked like... you were having a bad dream."

His energy shifted into a serious, concerned tone.

And when he looked at me, with that unbearable stare of his,

I fiddle in every fold of my brain,

attempting to form a coherent sentence.

„Hah, really? Did I really look that bad? I'm sorry for worrying you."

He does not respond nor does he react. He simply leans into the silence.

A tad bit panicked, I fill the void with more.

„I mean, I guess I had a weird dream. But it's nothing important, so seriously don't worry about me."

„So I was right then."

Placing a hand on my shoulder, he goes on:

„You don't have to bear everything inside and bottle up your thoughts and feelings, you can share them with me, okay?"

He now smiles warmly, dedicating himself to the aesthetic splashes yet a second time, ending the conversation.

Now normally,  
I wouldn't be the guy to fall for those psychological „hacks", the one's that you (if you're generously endowed in the brains department) pull out of your social sleeve, carefully, trying to lure someone into bending into the intention of making them talk or say what you want to hear.

Normally,  
I'm the guy manipulating others, because,

because someone like you doesn't know other ways to come around huh? Deceitful and treacherous, and a total scumbag-

Yes. That may very well be the case.

...but with him, everything is different somehow.

His gesture made me feel warm inside, like the sun had just risen inside of me.

Ever since we started talking again, everything has been comfortable. The healing has been a blessing as well, without the awkwardness of us having to heal without one word being said or even one look being thrown. Nowadays, we two spend more time just talking with each other, and it felt like we got to know one another better, even if we were barely just scratching the surface.

Despite our conversations mostly having consisted of small talk and the little things in life,

like talking about the others in our class and how peculiar some of them were,

our favourite foods, and who knew this guy loved orange juice to this extent?

our hobbies, whether he was team ps or xbox,

or simply just talking together with the others, which has been working a lot better, so far at least,

despite all these seemingly unimportant things to talk about,

I loved every single second of it.

He looks so handsome though, looking to the waters with such intensity, that I can't help but admire his features for a while.

We had been sitting here for a while now, relaxing and laying under the shadow of a few palm trees,

standing tall,

guarding us from the blazing sun as we healed. 

His cheeks and nose were glowing in raspberry-tones,

sweat pearls started to form,

some were dripping down his neck down to his shirt, 

his shirt,

of which he had opened up a few buttons while I was asleep,

so it was now merely hugging his chest in a lose,

futile manner.

His eyes were focused on the horizon,

but he seemed further away in soul.

Just what kind of things was he thinking about when he wasn't aware of it?

When he felt the solitude of this universe crashing down on him?

When the all too familiar sense of insignificance struck- although,

him of all people would probably be the least fitting candidate to deserve the feeling of being 'insignificant' in this world.

There was something about him,

and I can't distinguish bond from own feelings anymore so I'm not sure how reliable this is,

but I just couldn't get enough of him.

His presence.

His voice.

His smile,

which he definitely didn't show enough.

If I was being fully transparent with myself, I was also kind of glad he didn't smile as often because...

if the others saw how stunning and utterly beautiful he was when he smiled,

when he truly smiled,

from his heart,

and not because others expected him to,

maybe they would start to look at him the same way that I looked at him.

And I didn't want that.

My mind monologue is interrupted by his legs, as he adjusted for one of his legs to lay on top of mine, so his arms could find rest and support in the sand, gently, so he wouldn't interrupt the healing. 

He now looks at me, and as we still healed, his torso now almost facing me completely,

I hold my breath.

"Monomi and Monokuma surely have been acting weird this morning."

"Yeah, everyone noticed. They kept wandering around while everyone was eating, like they were anxious, or scared of something."

"I still don't get this whole concept. Like, yeah, the school is one of the most renowned and wealthy one's in the whole country. But to have a whole class just... take vacation? With no actual human teachers nearby?  
Right at the start of the new school year?

...It really is kind of concerning if you think about it."

He wasn't as red anymore, with brows furrowed, he seemed to be eagerly focusing on our feet, absentmindedly, while I heard his brain clattering and working on the topic that was hanging in the air.

I almost mirror him as I lean back,

my hands supporting my upper body on the warm sand as I stare out,  
trying to engage as normal as I could.

"I get what you mean, Hajime. But it still is Hope's Peak we're talking about.  
Just think about all the extremely hopeful talents that graduated from this school, like all the successful, internationally known ultimates!

The fact that we got scouted to be a part of this immensely honorable facility is, more than amazing."

I get excited talking about the hopeful potential that had been bestowed upon... all of them.

I only now take note of my wide smile, talking about this whole ordeal made me more giddy than I hoped to be in front of him.

Just go on, hope that he's not weirded out by you. Best believe that he won't try to leave you too, just like everyone else.

I almost feel part of my soul leaving my body from the usual voice talking to me, when I'm pulled back

by his touch,

his hands,

softly caressing the sides of my face.

"You know... I've been thinking."

He pauses for longer than is appropriate in this situation.

"About what?" Falls out of my mouth, in a sad attempt to seem casual and cool-headed.

"It's just, I've been feeling better ever since we talked about our feelings back then."

He was now practically sitting in the space between my opened legs, 

close enough to be too close for me to handle.

"I'm also glad we got to- understand our bonding situation a bit more."

I instinctively try to escape his innocent, yet unintentional (At least I assume it is?) intimacy, but it's no use.

Wherever I directed my eyes, there was Hajime.

I look up, there's his face.

I look to the side, there was his face, following me. 

When I look down, there was... gulp.

"But still, I feel like I want to clear things up between us even more."

He was now eyeing me from up close.

His hands, once again, caress the sides of my face, sliding down to cup my cheeks.

Even though the healing, which occured everytime our bodies came into physical contact,

sent my entire being into a blissful paradise,

when he was this close to me,

I couldn't help but feel bothered by it.

"What do you mean exactly by, clearing things up?"

His slender fingers felt their way further down, now they were ever so swiftly stroking along my chest.

I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat, and I don't know if it's because of the physical sensation of the healing on top of my chest,

or if it's because of him.

"There's still a lot we don't know about each other, and I want to know more about your past."

I feel my face heat up, and as he notices my apparent blushing, his face replies the same.

I feel like the entirety of the blood contents of my body have assembled in my head, so I interrupt the tension.

~~~

"Wait, what are we exactly, Hajime?"

Judging by his skin type, he seemed more like the 'chronic iron deficiency' type of guy,

but my assumptions were shattered when I saw the deep redness filling up his face from top to bottom.

He couldn't look cuter could he?

Wait, why was I being so... assertive right now?

The healing always brought such a calming feeling into my body, but it was exciting at the same time, like a drugged version of an utterly euphoric state, or something.

I take in one last look of his perfect porcelain features,

before I move back to give him space.

You're not usually like this, Hajime. Get a grip on yourself man.

"I'm sorry if I got too close there. The healing, you know."

"Yeah, it's, it's alright."

Hot and bothered probably was the best phrase to describe him at his state right now,

but I consciously avert my gaze,

so he could calm down for real this time.

It was always surprising to see how he reacted to every fiber that was me.

I hear him take a few deep breaths,

and I'm guessing he intended for those to have been a bit more silent than they actually came out,

as he drinks some water.

I give his question some thought.

"I think, we are... friends?"

Just as quick as the water entered his mouth, did it leave his mouth again, flying out like a firecracker on new year's eve, the waste finding comfortable landing ground directly on my pants.

There's no time to react for me, however,  
as he immediately starts to choke horrendously.

In a vain and rather sad attempt I must say, I pat his back, so he can recover from his almost too concerning choking session.

"gIVE mE a MOment-" comes out miserably, as he keeps coughing out the remnants of water stuck in his throat.

He gets up on his two feet, walking around in a nearly exasperated tone almost?

Was it because of what I said?

Of us being friends?

Was I wrong?

I know my actions spoke a different language, especially with what I did...

But...

Could we really,

could I really,

again...

"Hey Nagito, I will go cool off a bit in the dining hall, since we already healed and all.

I'll leave you be for now."

Still clearing his throat a little too aggressively, he throws me bug eyes

"-uhm, okay? but..."

"Find me there if you feel weak again and need healing, alright? Later."

Once again, I turn around 180 and walk, fastly paced, away from the scene without turning back.

God damnit.

I pass the pharmacy and the Rocketpunch market, when I come near the cottages and take note of two distinct voices, chattering with surpressed frequencies.

„When has this happened?"

„I don't know, but they're coming closer. But I don't want to alert the others just yet."

„Have you found out who is behind this all?"

„Not yet. But one thing is for sure:  
It's the future foundation.

And they're up to no good."

I try to make sense of what I had heard then and there, but then I take in something else, which was to affect me more than any of what had happened up until now.

As if things weren't complicated enough already.

„Who was the initiator again?

We already know that Junko Enoshima is behind this disaster after all,

but she's merely pulling the strings isn't she?"

„Exactly.

She only works behind the scenes.

The one we have to be cautious of right now is the one from class 78.

The one named Makoto Naegi."

~~~  
to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'm starting to incorporate the au story plot which I've been working on since the beginning, so let me know what you think!
> 
> Any suggestions, questions, or feedback?
> 
> Please drink enough water, listen to your body loves!  
> If you have any school/ uni exams or any important matters coming up, I'm rooting for you!!! You are the real deal and you got this!
> 
> Another hug, this one's extra loaded with love ;)
> 
> ✨💗<(*3*)>💗✨
> 
> I love you, please remember to take some time off if you need to.
> 
> Until next time, all the love,
> 
> yours truly.


	14. |Part 13| One Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hei my lovely hope bagels! I hope u like the nickname I gave u hehe.
> 
> How has your week been so far? I hope it's been fantastic... just like you are c:
> 
> As you're reading this, I will have already published my new fanfic "Hey joint, wanna smoke a hajime?" :))) It's a Komahina AU and my original story idea (i think at least!) c:
> 
> If you reached this far you might just wanna check that one out, I promise it's good! I'd be so happy if you gave it a read ;)<3
> 
> Anywaaaays... Let's get going, shall we?
> 
> <3

~~~

"But Komaeda, soulmates are always kind of intimate, are they not?"

I spit out the the orange juice, which had been freshly pressed by the ultimate cook himself a few minutes ago.

"I don't think that soulmates always have to end up being in a romantic, intimate relationship, Sonia."

Slightly flustered, I wipe the juice from the dining table, carefully putting his glass aside to make room.

He hasn't been in the dining hall, like he said he would be. After the uncomfortably weird moment we had at the beach, and after my little, quite unfavourable choking session, Hajime was nowhere to be found.

The others have been expecting both of us for lunch, like it was almost tradition everyday,

but today I was the only one to arrive to the feast.

Only I was here to hear the complaints of Teruteru, shouting how his precious delicacies were, once again, left to go to waste.

"Food going to waste? Not when I'm around!" munched out of Akane's mouth before I could voice out anything else regarding Hajime's,

and my own,

leftover food.

I wasn't hungry. In fact, I was feeling slightly ill.

I keep thinking about Hajime.

And I know it may be creepy, but I continously find myself wondering where he is,

the moment he's not with me.

It may be creepy? You are just as disgusting as the juice you just spat out.

I... I know that...

But... he makes me feel different, about myself... he makes me feel like, I could be deserving of... of all this, hope...

Go on, think about him, like you'd ever be worthy of calling yourself his lover.

...

You are just trash. The worst scum there is out there, your parents hated you.

No... That's not true... they just had to go earlier, than me...

Yea? Just like your oh-so-beloved little puppy?

Just accept it.

You are worthless.

You are truly the worst thing to ever exist on this earth

It's crazy that you are even alive right now

worthless scum

worthless trash

worthless

WORTHLESS.

"...Are you okay Komaeda-kun?"

I suddenly take notice of the big, meaty hands that firmly press onto my shoulder.

It was Byakuya Togami.

I can hardly bring about the energy to straighten my back and look up next to me, as said Togami takes a seat next to me.

It was now Sonia, Byakuya and me at the table, the louder ones all assembled with the other groups.

"I'm fine, why, did I not look like I was fine?" I smile at him.

"Yes, actually that was exactly my concern."

Byakuya being one of the last to sit down, as he had to wait for Teruteru to make him an extra large portion of today's japanese-style Wagyu steak, topped with a homemade white truffel sauce, and high quality fruits assembled on the side.

"Hah, I guess being bonded is different from what many people imagine after all.

It's less fairytale, and more complicated to say the least."

"Or ish that only the case withs you two?"

I barely understand his meat-muffled words.

"I'm not sure, but I suppose it's different for every pair of soulmates."

"Indeed." He swallows before finishing his sentence.

"In my company, we've had to deal with a lot of cases of our employees having to quit their positions due to 'unforeseen circumstances', it turned out, most of these sudden cases were bonds after all."

"Well I guess that can happen in such a big company."

"That's where you're wrong, Komaeda-kun. You see, the Togami family is not just any family. We inherit an international, multi-billion dollar business. Our employees are not just your regular employees that you find slacking off in the middle of their shift. We only recruit the best of the best. For such incidents to happen at the headquarters of our conglomerates, I knew there was more to it."

"So what was the true issue then?" Now even Sonia tuned into our conversation, having eyes as big as a doll, listening attentively to the words of the ultimate affluent progeny all while chewing pea-sized bites of her food.

After another maybe, 10 to 20 seconds of Byakuya just devouring his food to keep up with his hunger during the story-telling, he finally continues.

"So, being the utmost talented and competent that I am, I started conducting research. Further, I personally inspected the problem and confronted the said employees that had just turned to bonded soulmates myself."

I take a sip from my drink, waiting for the main point of his well too far carried out story.

„Apparently,

these people had what we would call a...

forgettable bond."

„Forgettable bond?" Sonia shrieks out mildly shocked.

„Exactly."

I stopped in my tracks.

„Apparently, it is common phenomena for soulmates to develop specific types of bonds."

There are different 'types' of bonds?

Could Hajime and I have something like that?

...

Byakuya continues to exchange quite intense words with Sonia, but nothing noteworthy is being said at this point.

They way he ingested his food, all while talking now, was in a way fascinating, if it wasn't for me being so unenthusiastic about eating in general, and especially right now.

Eventually, as I just sat there with no appetite or nobody to really talk with, I felt like not being here anymore. I quickly finish up, and make my way, bidding both of them a small goodbye, out to walk my mind off of things.

Today was exceptionally windy. The skies looked like a storm was about to emerge. It would be the first time ever since we arrived on this island, that we would experience bad weather.

I certainly didn't mind it though.

In actuality, this grey weather makes me feel better somehow.

Letting me sink into my mind.

How long has it been? Since we entered this 'holiday'? Our school trip before our real school life supposedly were to start?

How long has it been?

Almost three weeks have passed ever since I've bonded with him.

Already three weeks?

Our being soulmates feels like it's been our state of being for a vast time, yet our relationship hasn't changed all too much.

I'm caught off guard by tiny sand particles finding shelter in my eyes.

The storm seemed to only get it's joints warmed up, dynamically making every thing and every being dance on this island.

I try moving forward to counter the force of mother nature, steadily but weakly making my way to my, by far most favourite, spot on this island,

the beach.

No matter how strong the turbulance outside of my physical body was,

it wasn't chaotic enough to reach the chaos inside of me.

The wind was raging, making the palm trees look just a tad bit more frail than they actually were.

The wind was raging.

...

And if I was being honest with myself,

I missed my family.

But it didn't matter. The wind was still raging.

And I was continuing to walk forward.

...

I missed my dog, my little baby.

The wind was raging, regardless. It was blowing into my face provocatively, as if it was spitting into my face.

I missed my family.

...

We used to be... happy.

I used to be.

No matter how much I pretend, I despise being alone.

I hated being alone the most in this world,

and I feared it so much more.

...

Why am I so alone?

Why was I cursed with this life?

Oh naive boy, you are so naive.

And stupid.

Oh how stupid you are.

...why?

Why you ask?

Haven't you learned already??

It must be clear already, but you seem to be unable to get it into your brain,

so let me remind you.

You are absolute and utter trash.

...

I am absolute and utter trash.

Exactly. You don't even deserve being here, let alone even exist.

I don't deserve being here, let alone even exist.

You are the worst scum to ever walk on this earth.

I am the worst scum to ever walk on this earth.

I am the worst ever.

...

Exactly.

That is completely true.

That's why I am doomed to suffer like this.

It all makes so much sense!

I continue to walk along the beach, by now the air was feeling cold and hostile.

But it was the perfect weather for someone like me.

The water was dark and deep. Throwing it's body of waves up and down, right and left, splashing against the shore.

They almost look like sharp and heavy knives, just waiting to cut me open,

right here on this black and white beach.

I indulge in my thoughts just a little more, until I'm brought back to reality by a faint tug.

My heartbeat stops, and then immediately quickens after.

I know there's only one thing that was making my body react like that.

Only one thing that made my body feel sudden sensations it wouldn't feel on it's own.

The voice that was still lingering in the back of my conscious seemed to slowly fade, like turning down the volume on a blasting stereo, slowly.

Unknowingly to myself,

I start to look around.

Immediately around me, there's only the water to my left, and the continuation of shore, lengthening in front of me.

I pass the palm trees to my right, passing the secret spot behind the bushes, where I cried last time,

and where he... 

kissed me.

My heart was now irregular, as I swallow salty saliva down in an attempt to self soothe myself.

Thinking about him made me weak,

every

single 

time.

On the verge of getting lost in said memory, I get distracted once again, by a small dark spot in the corner of my eye.

That little spot was just out of reach for the ocean not to kidnap, a short sprint away from me, if I were capable of sprinting that is.

My eyes are dried out by the storm that was raging by now, but it really doesn't take much for me to recognize who it was.

Involuntarily,

my entire being was becoming warm and cozy inside.

He made everything different.

It still was slighty unfathomable for me, how I was lucky enough,

and I'm thinking this while keeping my ultimate luck in mind,

for a blessing that was so great,

to come into my life.

To even bond in the first place,

and then with someone like him,

he made everything so different.

He made everything better.

Coming closer to the angel, I can't help but smile to myself.

Was he really the one destined to love me?

Was he really the one to love me forever and whole?

My soulmate, Hajime?

I now am close enough to make out his back. He was slighty hunched over, on his knees, as if he was surrendering to the ocean.

He seemed to be admiring the storm, producing modern art on the horizon.

He looked peaceful.

Not wanting to disturb, I approach him quietly, which isn't a hard task in this environment.

Only now as I'm coming closer to the boy, do I notice my energy,

or the lack thereof.

It has been a few hours since we last healed, after all.

I bet he was struggling now, too.

I exhale laboriously. 

Now only a few steps away from him, I sneak up from behind him, as he still hasn't noticed me.

As I'm about to call out his name, I halt, taking a peek in front of him.

There was something laying in the sand, in front of his knees.

Gazing over his shoulders, with enough distance for him to still not notice me,

I see a picture.  
He placed his student handbook on the corner, and I assume it's an attempt to secure it from flying away in the wind.

Curious, I try to focus, despite the storm swirling up dust and sand into my eyes,

and I start to recognize,

Hajime, and someone next to him on the picture.

It was another boy.

Both were closely embracing one another,

while they kissed.

~~~

Did I hear something just now?

I glance behind me, as I was almost sure to feel someone standing there,

but there's no one.

I look around, but I'm the only one here, as far as I can see.

Erasing all suspicion, I bring my attention back.

The storm was crazy. Who would've thought it could also storm like that on a tropical island?

Painted in shades of grey, the sky seemed to be glaring down at us, aggitated.

I am sure now.

As wonderful and enriching, and as oh-so wonderful our times were,

I now know better.

Although I am still so confused, and I keep wanting to question why, I know what has to be done now.

I inhale deeply. It was pretty chilly, and sitting this close to the water surely didn't help.

But it was what I needed right now.

Looking ahead, I take in the beautiful view once more, and I close my eyes.

For his sake.

And for us.

I take the picture.

Holding it up in front of me, I take one last look at him.

I'm not sure what exactly this sight made my insides feel, but whatever it was, it was now frail.

Merely echoing in the core of my heart.

One last time, I caress your face,

your glowing eyes, so full of warmth,

with my fingers I follow your lips,

I remember your smile, so vibrant it could light up any room you entered,

I touch your hand, so soft, always wanting my touch with such earnesty and respect,

for the last time, I let all memories come to the surface, and as every deeply buried, precious, dearly held moment with you comes pouring out,

so do my tears fall.

I loved you so much.

I would have done everything if it meant protecting you,

keeping you safe,

or making you happy.

I loved you like I haven't loved anyone for millenia.

Or anyone ever.

And I guess a part of me,

a part I can't kill,

will always and forever,

continue to love you.

But I'm okay with that, as I caress your being with my fingers,

I slowly tear you off of me,

tearing you off the picture,

and letting you go,

into the endless ocean.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have feedback, feel free to let me know <3
> 
> I hope you like the flow so far! I already have the plot all figured out in my head, so I'm hoping you will enjoy the fic following along!
> 
> I hope I don't annoy you, but if you've read this far, I'd be more than happy if you gave my new fanfic "hey joint, wanna smoke a hajime?" a read! Just reminding you it's here c;
> 
> Some parts in this chapter are rather dark and negative, and I assume that many already experienced having similar thoughts, if this speaks to you, I want to remind you that you genuinely are a blessing to this world. I don't have to know you personally to know that you already made so many things in this world better just by being here. You already made so many people smile, you made so many people feel less lonely, or heard, and maybe you don't hear it often, but you are magic. And you are so lovely. Truly. So I hope you continue to inspire and walk this earth proudly, with your head held high, knowing you are as wonderful and amazing and unique as you are :)
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


	15. |Part 14| How Much More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day, good evening hope bagels c:
> 
> I hope life has been treating you well! Whether you are one of the people who actively reads my story or just tunes in here and there, I hope you are having the best time and are loved and loved and loved. I love you! I wish for life, god, the universe, whatever you believe in (or you may not believe in at all!), I just wish that you are treated with kindness, compassion and respect.
> 
> Another virtual hug bcs I feel like I haven't done so in a while!
> 
> Ɛ> < ('3') > <3
> 
> As celebration, you can enjoy a double update and binge read some good stuff c:
> 
> If you want to know what I'm celebrating, keep on reading the next chapter as well hehe >u<
> 
> Enjoy <3

~~~

"What are you talking about??? I don't know anything about something dangerous coming."

Monomi, having her arms crossed, trying to look cool, but failing at doing so, only confirmed my concerns. Except it really wasn't just a mere concern.

I heard her talking with Chiaki and I surely believed my own two ears more than this barefaced, 

pink-white creature trying to lie like an elementary school kid.

I turn to Chiaki, whose attention lay half on the current conversation, 

half on her video game, 

as the old-school Galaga sounds came twinkling out of the little game device.

"Please be reasonable, Monomi. Chiaki you too, you can't lie to me. I already know that something is going on."

Chiaki's head peaks up, turning off her game to finally engage completely,

since Monomi's nervous fiddling didn't help this situation any further.

"We've been trying not to let anyone know, because they'd only be scared and panic."

"But this is serious! Who even is this 'Junko' or whatever? What did you mean by she's the one pulling the strings?"

"Hajime, it's very complicated. I don't know if I can tell you-"

"No, you NEED to tell me!"

I interrupt Chiaki harshly, 

making her go silent. The rabbit teacher figure was by now entirely hiding behind said girl,

following the conversation anxiously as I go on to question both.

...

"Makoto Naegi... he's a student from Hope's Peak, a year above us... am I right Monomi?"

"Y-yes, that's true, but how-"

"Why watch out for him, specifically?" 

My voice stern and strong, there was a long pause. 

We were inside the infirmary, far back from the patient rooms or where anyone else would spot us, on the second floor in a small room. 

The air felt heavy and burdened, as we hoped no one would find us and hear us talk.

"You need to tell me, if this school trip merely was a ploy for us to actually be away from danger, danger that is targeted at us directly, then it's important that we know! We have to know what this is about!"

I held eye contact, 

watching both relentlessly. 

The two of them, 

especially Chiaki, were staring back, 

looking like they were waiting for me to answer instead of them. 

After yet another few moments, they must've realized that I wasn't going to panic, 

nor was I going to give in, 

so they give each other one last deep look, 

affirming their actions before ultimately letting me in.

Chiaki was closing her eyes, letting her chest rise and fall comparatively calm, 

as she looks up again to smile at me.

"You really are special, aren't you Hajime?"

Startled, I give back unembellished:

"Hah... I'm really not. but still, if this is something that involves the safety of us all, then please, you gotta tell me everything."

"Okay, then listen."

...

I can't say how much time had passed, but once they both were done telling me everything,

I was the one going silent.

So, the ultimate fashionista was it? No, no...

she was the ultimate 'despair',

according to Monomi.

A high school girl known for her unique doll-like, model appearance,

already having landed the covers of various well known fashion magazines.

Yet, her glamorous impression merely existed to disguise her true nature. 

The two weren't able to tell me much information as of yet, but ultimately they made us fly out to this far off island to protect us, 

or so I understood?

I was confused, even skeptical at first,

wondering why they needed to keep us safe, 

as if there weren't enough other people in danger, if this Junko was even as dangerous and influential as they claimed her to be. 

But once they told me that she truly was to be feared,

with full sincerity in their faces,

I decided to let down my doubts, just a little bit. Of course I wanted to take this seriously, 

but,

I mean, a high school girl?

So dangerous, she could bring chaos to the whole world?

The biggest nonsense I have ever heard, if I was being completely honest. 

I didn't say that aloud to those two though, as flying out to a faraway island was a serious enough thing to show us that there had to be some sort of truth to this whole thing, if it was only for the expenses of our trip.

Speaking of 'they',

it apparently wasn't the school or the principal that had sent us here, 

either.

Going by what Monomi told me,

someone named

Mukuro Ikusaba

arranged for us to be brought here.

Who she is, other than Junko's sister, and why she did this, they also couldn't tell me.

But we weren't able to discuss for too long,

because at that point we had already spent several hours hidden from everyone. 

Not wanting to raise doubt with the others, we ended the conversation on terms that they would eventually fill everyone in, once they received more information from Ikusaba, 

as they kept contact with her through Monokuma, which I also didn't quite understand

(it was some technical thing that they did to reprogram him or something?),

and I on the other end was to keep things to myself, for now. We eventually parted ways, Chiaki leaving to fulfill her promise to spend time with the other girls, while Monomi, as always and ever so mysteriously, disappeared.

...What a mess this was.

Lost in my train of thoughts, I was walking down the road leading past the diner, where a few girls had assembled to eat. I walk past, watching Hiyoko, Mahiru and Peko munch on fries and burgers through the window glass,

as I suddenly feel my knees going wobbly and weak.

I fall onto one knee, breathing out uneasily. All the stress and happenings were taking up all of my power and attention,

making me completely forget about my body needing healing.

Wait, where was Nagito?

I hadn't seen him ever since... this morning?

That was more than eight hours ago, as it was now late afternoon.

Has it been that long already?

Taking more notice of my bodily sensations, all the exhaustion and weakness came rushing in almost a little too fast.

I coughed out feebly and faintly, as I dry coughed, because I felt my lungs not receiving proper amounts of oxygen. Rather, my body was too sick to support my body functions sufficiently, or so it felt like.

If I was feeling this way, how must he be feeling right now?

Wiping of the new formed sweat pearls on my forehead, I give it everything I can to lift myself back up to my feet.

Shaken, I try to orientate myself,

as I suddenly lost focus on which direction I had to take to walk back to the cottages. 

My head was pulsing like crazy, aching down into my temples and down to my neck. 

I was aching all over now.

Shit. This is really bad.

I was really, really weak right now.

Why did I not think about this sooner?

But, I was busy, as my whole attention was on us being in danger, so it's understandable that I could've inattentively forgot to pay attention to myself, was it not?

But Nagito?

Why wasn't he looking for me if he needed healing?

Soulmates are supposed to heal together,

they could only heal together,

because it was always both that needed the healing,

even if one may need it more than the other.

We wouldn't survive without it.

So why?

Fatigued,

my pulsating,

on the verge of numb-feeling legs wearily carry me over the bridge that connected the islands together.

I was probably looking like a zombie to anyone that saw me right now,

as I surely felt like one,

dragging my body with me as if it were heavy-weight.

Biting my teeth together in an attempt to pull the lost pieces of myself into a whole,

I finally catch a glimpse of the main building,

with the cottages in front, yet still a long way from where I was.

As my steps didn't seem to quicken any more, but rather slow down, like a song fading into silence,

my emotions get the better of me.

Why?

Why couldn't I just live the peaceful, exciting, hopeful school-life I anticipated for so long?

Why couldn't I just normally go to school,

be one of those talented Hope's Peak students

like I always dreamed to be?

Exhausted to the core, pain inheriting my limbs all over,

I hazily tear off my necktie, or at least what feels like tearing to me at this moment,

loosening the collar on my shirt, and throwing the tie to the ground.

Maybe this is punishment.

Maybe, 

this is the punishment that is being done to me for-

I can't continue dwelling on the thought,

as my pained walking is interrupted by aforementioned necktie,

as it had to lay right on the spot where I placed my foot, making me greet the ground with almost my whole self, hard and rough.

I almost want to scream out,

but I simply can't,

seeing that I don't have the energy for any more unnecessary deeds,

so I get up,

slowly,

as my head was filled to a brim with dizziness.

Stop whining.

You need to find your soulmate, Hajime. 

After what feels like seven eternities, I reach the cottages, while heaving out dry air, and soon enough I'm standing there,

all of me aching,

in front of his cottage.

I don't even know anymore.

My head empty,

I only want him.

I only need him right now.

I knock, or rather, drag my hands across his door, trying to make enough sound, so he hears me.

I needed to heal so badly, I felt my consciousness slipping from me if I didn't heal right now.

I slide to my knees, my arms still supporting me on the door.

Desperate, I call out his name.

I call him one time. 

Then a second time.

Then I try screaming his name, 

but all that comes out of my throat is nothing more than an inaudible, 

husky whisper.

Just when I think that he just may not be in his cottage, I almost really just let myself plop to the ground.

But the door opens.

My practically dead self, having rested against the wooden cottage door,

swiftly flies to the front, 

right inside.

I expect to have a firm encounter with the ground, yet again,

but instead I'm caught by the soft and slender frame,

covered in his usual green parka, 

from which I was immediately able to recognize his delicate smell, right as the door opened, 

warmly, embracing me in his chest.

I almost forgot the fact that I threw away my tie in desperate frustration,

and since my shirt was solely covering the lower half of my torso,

leaving my chest almost completely bare,

my skin came into direct contact with his,

as his shirt was generally hanging quite low. 

But since our healing has been dragged out for so long,

it was such an intense sensation,

I couldn't help, 

and I assume it was similar for him, 

but to almost moan out in relief, 

letting my body go soft, as we fall back, 

cottage door closing in on us.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback? Questions? Suggestions? c:
> 
> Please take good care, you hopeful bagels filled with deliciousness :))
> 
> All the love and so much more,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


	16. |Part 15| Sensual Escapades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope bagels! Double update?!?!
> 
> My gift to you, since my fanfic reached 2k reads a while ago!!!
> 
> I'm beyond happy that anyone would even read so far, and I just want to thank everyone who read and supported me thus far :)) <3
> 
> That said, this chapter is a lil' spicy to say, and I'm experimenting on expanding my writing so feel free to give me honest feedback! I'll hope the parts that are *sEnSuAl* or sth of the sorts don't make you feel uncomfortable but if they do, just feel free to skip! But it's not that graphic don't worry! I'm just adding what I personally call 'tasteful spice' lol.
> 
> Enjoy <3

~~~

Words can't even describe how much him, literally falling right into my cottage, scared me to the core of my pathetic being.

I almost didn't hear him at all, all that I heard was something similar to the sounds of cat paws, rubbing against the door very, very softly. Or at least that's how his movements at my door sounded to me. Imagining kitten Hajime was stirring up my insides, but that was a thought for later.

I never even would've guessed that it was him, kneeling there before me.   
But I always forget how much more he was in need of the healing, 

or better said,

how much faster he needed to heal before he felt weak.

He was always in a worse state when we met to heal,

worse than me.

I feel bad every time, thinking I seriously should start to care more about his wellbeing. 

I finish up, flushing, diligently washing my hands.

Filthy.

You carried him to bed with these hands?

How lowly and disgusting of you-

haaaah! How cold!

The cold water dripping down my face is just what I needed.

I look at myself, the mirror originally perfectly clear and spotless, now tainted with water droplets, caused by my aggressive water splash. I probably looked like one of those girls in the commercials, the one's who splash water in their face like it's the most fun, comfortable and neat thing to do, when in reality, nobody ever washed their face like that, and I did it for a different reason anyway. To silence things, things better left unheard.

Feeling at the very least a little more clear headed than before, I closely inspect my mirror, yet my attention was on him, resting right in my room, right on my bed.

After collapsing into my cottage,

he almost immediately fell unconscious.

I was taken aback as well,

but thankfully,

I managed to keep my eyes open,

or else we would have found ourselves uncomfortably laying on the floor,

tangled,

when we woke up later. 

The healing always felt so good. It's truly astonishing to me how non-bonded people,

or that would be your average normal person I guess,

simply need food, water and sleep to recharge

and that is how I've always lived most of my life;

I didn't even question it.

Yet now, I was dependent on someone else.

Quite frankly, putting this thought out of context sounds kind of bad, nobody really wants to become dependent on another person, because there is always the risk that they may leave you, 

be it intentional or not. 

But with him,

with my soulmate,

I held the obvious fact in my heart,

the guarantee that he would never leave me,

because he couldn't ever leave me, at least not in this life,

because he needed me,

and it's insane

how much I needed him.

But...

Despite the bond, which was by far the most special and rare phenomenon a human could ever experience,

were they lucky enough to even meet their soulmate in their lifetime, 

despite us being literally physically in need of each other every day,

without a pause,

despite all that,

he still wanted someone else,

someone other than me.

My thoughts, 

all too brazen to be said aloud,

seemed to affect me so much so, I find myself catching wet, flaring tears, carrying out the heavy baggage inside of my soul, out to the surface,

audaciously, 

for myself to feel ashamed of,

as I absentmindedly draw lines on my face,

observing myself in the mirror.

I slide my finger steadily up the reflection, up into the right corner, to run it across, down to the left, giving the pale face in my looking glass a symbolic kill,

hoping it would kill the things in me that I hoped to get rid of.

Nothing happens though,

so I prepare myself, wiping off my emotional waste, making myself look at the very least somewhat presentable, to go back to Hajime.

I sigh. 

Looking at his face,

as he was laying here, on my bed, spread out comfortably like it was his own,

he looked like a baby.

Like the cutest and most adorable baby at that.

I almost felt like crying.

This handsome, absolutely gorgeous man was mine?

...

No.

For the healing? Why yes, of course. Crystal clear.

But, despite us having done inappropiate things because we were of course confused by our bond, we still weren't anything more than classmates,

maybe friends at most, friends who needed to heal.

The healing, however, kept me together.  
It calmed me into ease,

and made all my muscles go into relaxation, no matter how broken, raged or messed up I used to feel before.

As long as we got to heal together, I would be fine.

I could overcome any despairing situations coming my way,

as long as he healed with me.

That's what I told myself.

Unbeknownst to myself, I had positioned myself to gawk at his face, up close, bending above him, standing at the edge of the bed, careful not to interrupt his slumber.

Ah, right!

He will probably be hungry once he wakes up.

As if I was struck by lightning, I quickly put on my jacket, and head towards the door.

Glancing one last time, I turn back to make sure soulmate is cozy and safe, before, not being able to control my facial expressions, heading out to get us both some food.

Once arrived, I made sure to carefully plate the most delicious looking dishes, which were packed up for later, the ones which I think would taste Hajime the best, and put them on a tray, before gently walking back, not wanting to let any of the food drop down.

This was fine,

as long as I was able to keep taking care for him,

being his support, his energy source,

then I was fine not being liked by him.

I could accept him loving someone else, if it meant I got to treasure our healing times like this.

I am fine.

...

How clumsy, I almost let the tray fall.

Stepping back into my cottage, although still concentrated on balancing the food like a person going for the olympics, 

I can register Hajime still sleeping,

now half of his body just about to fall off the bed.

His shirt was messy, revealing his shoulder and neck, the first few buttons released.

My heart jumps a little, but I bring my focus back to the weight in front of me, feeling my arm muscles burn, as I eventually relieve my feeble limbs, putting the food down on the table.

I'm pretty sure I heard a bone crack just as I put the tray down, but dismiss it just as quickly as I had heard.

Maybe I should just start working out.

Just maybe.

I go to towards bed, trying my best not to be a creep and stare at his naked skin,

but unfortunately I can't contain myself,

so that's exactly what I do.

His skin had a nice and even olive sun-kissed tone. 

He probably was already naturally tanned before arriving here,

and he looked so outrageously attractive.

He was sweating just a tiny amount,

the moisture making him, laying there with his shirt unbuttoned,

just all the more exhilarating to look at.

But my honest conscience won't let me look at him any more,

as I respected him and his boundaries more than my own perverted urges, 

so I reach out my hand,

to put away one hairstrand that's been laying over his eyes, so I can move away and let him dream in peace,

but I'm quickly stopped,

as he suddenly, 

without any warning, 

reaches out to pull me down, 

right into his pecks- I mean,

embrace.

~~~

Everything was pleasantly bright.

I find myself in a beautiful green field, healthy grass and golden flowers surrounding me all over.

The sight was beautiful.

Everything seemed like it was out of paradise.

I try to move, but I'm stuck to where I'm standing.

My body won't move an inch.

The grass is flowing in the wind orchestrally,

tiny specks of sparkling gold flying around my frozen stiff body.

Somehow,

my body starts to vibrate,

and suddenly everything starts to shake and vibrate.

Where- What?

Before I was even able to open my eyes, my whole world was spinning, as if it wanted to compete with all the carousels in the world.

My body was throbbing. Yet it wasn't painful.

What a vivid dream.

But it felt so cosy and sheltered for it being a dream.

Huh?

After my bodily senses come back into my system, I quickly open my eyes.

I was laying in bed, with Nagito laying on top of my chest,

his head resting just below my chin, in the nape of my neck.

Oh.

My.

God.

I can't help,

and I might've regretted stopping this situation in such a manner later on, 

but to hastily lift myself up,

pushing him off of me,

so he lands next to me on the bed.

I feel the blood rise up to my head, all the adrenaline my body can produce in such a short amount of time seemed to have been released into my blood stream as well,

not taking more than a few seconds for me to be wide awake.

Since I've sat up,

my shirt, from which almost all the buttons were open by now, 

hung by my elbows, sheepishly covering nothing more than my lower back and forearms.

The white-haired boy, by now slightly mortified, also sat up, backing up on the bed to give me some space, lifting his hands up as an innocent, well-meant sign,

gesturing me no ill intentions.

"S-sorry, if I scared you, Hajime." He looks at me nervously, staring googly-eyed into my own, as if I was just about to execute him. 

I swallowed audibly.

"No, no i-it's fine, but, b-but why- I mean, how did we-?

"You fell unconscious, so I carried you to my bed."

His answer gave some clarity to this circumstance, but it still didn't explain the main thing at hand. I lack the proper words to ask, but he understands, explaining further:

"You, pulled me, in your sleep."

He blushes, slight anguish in his eyes, as if he was afraid of every word that was about to fall out of my mouth.

"Uhm, I did?" 

I stare at him, and I feel myself smiling crookedly. Wanting to raise his spirits a little bit, wanting to let him know that I wasn't about to blame or attack him for anything, I reach out my hand.

"Then I'm sorry, haha! I'm sometimes a little... lively when I sleep."

As I was about to reach out my hand to rest on his arm with reassuring intentions, he backs up further, dodging my hand with marble eyes and cheeks and nose flushed dark red. I almost hear him squiek out (in tiny), while he puts his hands over his face, covering his eyes.

He looked like a child that had seen something he wasn't allowed to see.

Then I realise.

I was trapping him on his bed,

no space for him to get up,

while (unintentionally) coming way too close for it to be acceptable on a bed,

with my bare chest and upper body naked.

Fully on display.

Certainly faster than it took me to finally get why he was being so flustered, 

I retract my arm, 

and jolt back, aiming to build appropriate space between us. 

But my clumsy seld jolted back too far, so I swiftly slide off the bed, flopping with my butt, then my back, onto the wooden floor.

"Hajime?? Are you okay???"

I see his white fluffy locks, peeking over the edge of the bed.

He was likely still covering his eyes, since I didn't manage to cover myself yet.

"Y-yes, I'm fine. Sorry for, uh, coming too close just now."

"It's... fine. I was just... surprised is all."  
Still laying on the ground, wondering when I've become such an awkward mess, I see Nagito perk up his head completely, although ever so alertly and unhurriedly.

He honestly looked so cute when he blushed,

and I think part of the reason why I was being such a chaotic trainwreck just now,

was because I couldn't handle him, with his body on mine,

as he looked at me with his intense eyes, all while blushing so abashed.

Now he was the one reaching out his arm.

"Uhm, Hajime? Don't you want to get up? Here, let me help you."

He flashed me a small smile, and it throws out every ounce of speaking ability I had left in me.

Wordlessly, I take his hand, as he pulled me back up onto the bed.

He was looking down, and I assume it's because he was getting tired of seeing me half naked.

Wait, did he feel repulsed by me?

"How did you sleep?

I brought you some food, Teruteru freshly cooked it a while ago, and packed it up,

since they all planned to have a swimming session at the beach, he made the food in advance.

So everyone can just eat whenever they want."

He continues to look past me, talking delightfully as if what just happened didn't happen, and as if I wasn't here in front of him, shirtless.

I was never able to keep calm whenever Nagito would change, all those times we healed and he took off his jacket, or his shirt to change into something lighter.

Be it soulmate bond or not,

seeing him,

being with him,

talking to him,

touching him,

smelling him,

all made me way too excited.

He gets up to probably go to the table, but I suddenly can't control my hands.

Pulling him back by his wrist, 

back to me,

onto my lap,

I lose my senses.

Didn't he feel the same way that I felt about him?

Wasn't he... also attracted to me?

I can't be the only one feeling these strong sensations,

so why was he so casual,

when I on the other hand was barely able to contain myself?

When I had to keep myself from being intimate with him?

When it was so hard for me to do so?

So I ask him.

~~~

"Do you not like me?"

I almost choke on nothing as he roughly pulled me to sit on his lap,

one arm firmly around my waist,

the other holding my arm tight,

so I could not escape, even if I wanted to.

his face now mere inches away from mine, I feel his hot breath on my cheek.

I sincerely don't know what just occured, 

but I'm not entirely sure if Hajime thought his actions through,

because we,

no matter what position we found ourselves in,

as long as we came into physical contact, 

we would always start healing.

And we haven't been bonded for long enough to become fully accustomed to it yet, 

so no matter how energized I felt, 

the healing still was way too overwhelming of a sensation,

way too intimate and...

it felt way to good, 

calming and soothing,

yet euphoric and exhilarating all at the same time,

for it to happen when I was pulled in to sit like this, 

on his lap,

our bodies closely together, 

my hip so close to his, 

being grabbed by Hajime like that,

only feeling hotter as more seconds passed.

I try to voice out protests, but for some unexplainable reason, nothing comes out.

All I can take in is the heat, coming from his body,

and the golden splashes and sizzles in my view,

which always filled my vision when we healed, 

which now only accentuated the sight I was taking in,

the sight that was Hajime, his deep, hazel-green eyes,

with the beautiful limbal ring around his iris,

gazing deep into my soul,

waiting for an answer.

"I- I don't know what you mean, h-Hajime..." I gulp saliva, not being able to break eye contact,

being seriously bothered by the things my body was feeling right now.

"Of course I like you, w-why would you ask th-"

Before I can finish my sentence, his hand softly comes up, to caress the sides of my face,

leisurely gliding down to my lips,

barely touching them with his thumb, 

before slowly guiding his finger,

down to my neck.

"Then, if you like me,

do you feel anything, seeing me vulnerable like this,

or does it just annoy you?"

He lifts his head up just enough for his lips to come closer, stopping just before we come into contact.

Panicked, I nervously try to pull away, but he follows,

so I move my head back just a tiny bit more.

Suddenly, I feel his hand behind my head,

gently caressing my hair,

so I freeze in my tracks.

"Hajime, you do bother me. But not in the way you think."

Reluctantly, I lift my hand, to stroke the skin, over where his heart was beating.

I try to ignore my body's reactions, and make the issue, 

which he clearly misinterpreted, 

clear to him.

"Though it may just be a bond to you,

a rather annoying chore you have to endure with me,

every single day from now on,

it's different for me."

He looks at me with an expression which I can, yet again, not interpret.

"I really like you, Hajime. We may not know each other for that long, but these past few weeks have been, really great. I know it's burdensome, being bonded with me, and I wish I could change it if it were possible, but we are soulmates now."

I smile at him, with all my might.

"I can only speak for myself, but I...

really like you.

And you being close to me,

makes me want to only be with you,

to always be with you,

so there's no way I would ever dislike you, Hajime."

And I surprise myself, but I blame it on the situation life has put me in,

and my own stupidity,

as I,

out of nothing,

unlike anything I would ever do,

approach his face,

to kiss him on the cheek, making sure it's only a peck,

and I meant well when I tried to get off of him for good,

but he presses my lips against his,

kissing me passionately.

I never was in a romantic relationship.

Hajime was the first person to kiss me, back then.

I never kissed anyone else, so I really have no comparison,

but since we kept healing this whole time,

and my entire body, and all my nerves were going crazy,

with all my cells just dancing in euphoria as we stayed in close contact,

his kisses felt so intense,

so zealous,

so emotional and feverish,

and I believe our bond was making everything feel just so much more vivid and wonderful,

no ordinary kiss would feel like this,

that I just gave myself in,

surrendering myself completely to him.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my hope bagels!<3
> 
> Any feedback? Suggestions? Questions? c:
> 
> I know this was a little different haha!
> 
> Even if descriptive stuff isn't your cup of tea, I sincerely hope you were still able to enjoy this chapter >.<
> 
> Here, have some leafy greens, since all the spices in this chapter must've drained you off all your water and nutrients!
> 
> 🥦🥬🥒
> 
> Let me know if you'd like more stuff like this in the next chapters, and I'll be sure to give you my very best work! <33
> 
> Once again, thank you everyone for reading my fanfic and engaging with me :)) It really gives me motivation to go after my dreams and to keep doing my best :')
> 
> That said, I wish you a wonderful day/night c:
> 
> All the love,
> 
> yours truly
> 
> <3


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